Author Topic: Jokes (Read 212602 times)

TeamXtreemer · « **Reply #4700 on:** March 11, 2012, 11:30:27 AM »

Rough jokes, but oh well.

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar, everytime she opens a doop, I close it and rape her.

Josef Fritzl, putting the 'Semen' back into 'Basement.

What's the difference between Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend and Madeline McCann?
Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend's definitely getting f**cked by a Portuguese guy.

Hydro · « **Reply #4701 on:** March 11, 2012, 12:21:12 PM »

Quote from: TeamXtreemer on March 11, 2012, 11:30:27 AM

Rough jokes, but oh well.

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar, everytime she opens a doop, I close it and rape her.

Josef Fritzl, putting the 'Semen' back into 'Basement.

What's the difference between Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend and Madeline McCann?
Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend's definitely getting f**cked by a Portuguese guy.

I don't understand why these are supposed to be funny.

Philippa · « **Reply #4702 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:35:18 PM »

Quote from: TeamXtreemer on March 11, 2012, 11:30:27 AM

What's the difference between Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend and Madeline McCann?
Christiano Ronaldo's girlfriend's definitely getting f**cked by a Portuguese guy.

Too far.

TeamXtreemer · « **Reply #4703 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:51:37 PM »

And when I say that something's too far, erryone kills me.

Gazea2 · « **Reply #4704 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:41:11 PM »

What did the clock do when he was hungry?
He went back four seconds

Philippa · « **Reply #4705 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:52:01 PM »

Most men when they leave their house kiss their wife goodbye.
And most men when they leave their wife kiss their house goodbye.

GoldenFox93 · « **Reply #4706 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:54:33 PM »

Based on true events.

Gazea2 · « **Reply #4707 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:57:03 PM »

"It's so cold!"
Go stand in a corner, it's 90 degrees.

Philippa · « **Reply #4708 on:** March 13, 2012, 03:06:19 PM »

Quote from: Gazea2 on March 13, 2012, 02:57:03 PM

"It's so cold!"
Go stand in a corner, it's 90 degrees.

(Image removed from quote.)

Badumtish.

My Dad asked me if I could make a joke about anything and I said "Yeah of course Dad!"
He said "I'll give you a topic and you make a joke, ok?"
I said "Sure, anything."
He said "Beavers."
I said "Damn."

Enigm@ · « **Reply #4709 on:** March 13, 2012, 04:28:48 PM »

lrn2englishfgts

Mr. AS · « **Reply #4710 on:** March 13, 2012, 04:36:41 PM »

Quote from: Enigma on March 13, 2012, 04:28:48 PM

lrn2englishfgts
(Image removed from quote.)

y r u so mad i think u should calm down ,if your so mad than u should get a pillow 2 punch instead of taking it out on people your hurting there feelings

smashysmashy · « **Reply #4711 on:** March 13, 2012, 04:38:06 PM »

Quote from: Mr. AwesumSauce on March 13, 2012, 04:36:41 PM

Quote from: Enigma on March 13, 2012, 04:28:48 PM
lrn2englishfgts
(Image removed from quote.)
y r u so mad i think u should calm down ,if your so mad than u should get a pillow 2 punch instead of taking it out on people your hurting their feelings

I don't think he made that image.

And FTFY. LEARN TO ENGLISH, RETARD [/keeping in line with the image]

Oh and I thought this was hilarious:

Chaosmancer · « **Reply #4712 on:** March 13, 2012, 05:06:21 PM »

Quote from: smashysmashy on March 13, 2012, 04:38:06 PM

Quote from: Mr. AwesumSauce on March 13, 2012, 04:36:41 PM
Quote from: Enigma on March 13, 2012, 04:28:48 PM
lrn2englishfgts
(Image removed from quote.)
y r u so mad i think u should calm down ,if your so mad than u should get a pillow 2 punch instead of taking it out on people your hurting their feelings

And FTFY. LEARN TO ENGLISH, RETARD [/keeping in line with the image]

AS was actually taking the piss out of the image by doing everything it said not to. You had a lot more to fix than the fact that he had put 'there' if you wanted to keep in like with the image.

Enigm@ · « **Reply #4713 on:** March 14, 2012, 05:05:50 PM »

What's six inches long, and didn't get sucked on Valentine's Day ?
Whitney Housten's crack pipe.

Badger · « **Reply #4714 on:** March 14, 2012, 06:50:03 PM »

Quote from: Enigma on March 13, 2012, 04:28:48 PM

lrn2englishfgts
(Image removed from quote.)

That image is now my bible.

But shorter.

And in one picture.

HurricaneAndrew · « **Reply #4715 on:** March 14, 2012, 11:06:01 PM »

What is black and can hang from a tree?

Gazea2 · « **Reply #4716 on:** March 22, 2012, 12:13:19 PM »

Jonzu95 · « **Reply #4717 on:** March 24, 2012, 12:36:17 PM »

Natef · « **Reply #4718 on:** March 24, 2012, 02:01:01 PM »

I don't get it, Jonzu.

GoldenFox93 · « **Reply #4719 on:** March 24, 2012, 02:02:47 PM »

Quote from: Natef on March 24, 2012, 02:01:01 PM

I don't get it, Jonzu.

It's Ainsley Harriott- he's a TV chef who has a thing for peppers.