Author Topic: Jokes (Read 211471 times)

Naryar · « **Reply #3820 on:** March 21, 2011, 06:09:15 AM »

I liked the inglip one

Kujii · « **Reply #3821 on:** March 21, 2011, 07:28:35 AM »

I've discovered whenever I press [Bad] on Jonzu's rep, my rep increases by 2 within 12 hours.

Thyrus · « **Reply #3822 on:** March 21, 2011, 08:01:10 AM »

Kujii · « **Reply #3823 on:** March 21, 2011, 08:02:29 AM »

That is actually pretty funny.

Naryar · « **Reply #3824 on:** March 21, 2011, 09:22:49 AM »

I fail to see how doritos are mineral.

Zergs and giant isopods, maybe... but doritos and "we require more minerals" said in omnious voice ?

Jack Daniels · « **Reply #3825 on:** March 21, 2011, 02:32:41 PM »

Oh man! I <3 giant isopods! I wish I had one as a pet.

Thyrus · « **Reply #3826 on:** March 23, 2011, 08:47:48 AM »

yeah, they are pretty cool. especaly on level 17 when they learn bite :P

lloopp D lloopp · « **Reply #3827 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:10:47 PM »

Quote from: Jack Daniels on March 21, 2011, 02:32:41 PM

Oh man! I <3 giant isopods! I wish I had one as a pet.

I'd get one and call him Scuttles :3

GoldenFox93 · « **Reply #3828 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:16:59 PM »

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him,
resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God.
"Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said,
"What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"And I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,"
God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small island and said,
"What's that one?"
"Ah," said God
"That's the United Kingdom, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from there are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then mentioned,
"But what about the balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled.

"Yes...and then there is France, right next to it. Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting in there"

Scourge of teh Galaxy · « **Reply #3829 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:20:31 PM »

Quote from: GoldenFox93 on March 23, 2011, 05:16:59 PM

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him,
resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God.
"Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said,
"What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"And I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,"
God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small island and said,
"What's that one?"
"Ah," said God
"That's the United Kingdom, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from there are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then mentioned,
"But what about the balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled.

"Yes...and then there is France, right next to it. Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting in there"

Does this mean... that I ain't British?

*bawls loudly*

Enigm@ · « **Reply #3830 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:21:38 PM »

I'm not British. I'm from 'Murica.

FOTEPX · « **Reply #3831 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:23:04 PM »

Long live the Great British Isles.

GoldenFox93 · « **Reply #3832 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:23:53 PM »

Quote from: FOTEPX on March 23, 2011, 05:23:04 PM

Long live the Great British Isles.

A toast to that

freeziez · « **Reply #3833 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:24:22 PM »

I live in the USA, where all people eat fast food 6 times a week, weigh over 800 pounds, and let in every Mexican who appears on their doorstep. :P

Scourge of teh Galaxy · « **Reply #3834 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:25:30 PM »

I come from Hell. I am the Apocalypse.

Simply because what I am doesn't fit boss' description of a Brit XD

FOTEPX · « **Reply #3835 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:25:55 PM »

I live in Bradford, which would be a great city if it didn't have Buttershaw, the main hub for everything scratty and chavvy, right on it's doortep.

madman3 · « **Reply #3836 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:27:15 PM »

Quote from: freeziez on March 23, 2011, 05:24:22 PM

I live in the USA, where all people eat fast food 6 times a week, weigh over 800 pounds, and let in every Mexican who appears on their doorstep. :P

Other than in the south, where they overeact to every Mexiocan that appears on their doorstep:P
And I live in Cambridge. Pahahahah.

GoldenFox93 · « **Reply #3837 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:29:20 PM »

Quote from: FOTEPX on March 23, 2011, 05:25:55 PM

I live in Bradford, which would be a great city if it didn't have Buttershaw, the main hub for everything scratty and chavvy, right on it's doortep.

Still, could be worse. You could have Grimsby, "The Arsehole of Lincolnshire" a couple of doors away =/

freeziez · « **Reply #3838 on:** March 23, 2011, 05:34:10 PM »

Quote from: madman3 on March 23, 2011, 05:27:15 PM

Quote from: freeziez on March 23, 2011, 05:24:22 PM
I live in the USA, where all people eat fast food 6 times a week, weigh over 800 pounds, and let in every Mexican who appears on their doorstep. :P
Other than in the south, where they overeact to every Mexiocan that appears on their doorstep:P

*coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough*

...yeah, pretty much. I live in Florida, the state with pretty much the worst reputation of any region. :P

NFX · « **Reply #3839 on:** March 23, 2011, 06:17:49 PM »

Quote from: Scourge of teh Galaxy on March 23, 2011, 05:20:31 PM

The people from there are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You've never been to Glasgow, have you?