Jokes

[rnifnuf]

A Vietnamese guy is in an American bar with his American friend trying to pick up an American woman. He asks the American friend what the secret to success is.
"Money," he says. "Tell a woman that you have lots of money and she will surely swoon over you!"
"Okay, I try that now. Thank you, thank you much." the Vietnamese guy said in response.
He approached a woman that he though was cute and said...

Hey babe, spend night with me and you can feel my big dong!

Hey babe, I have much dong in pocket, which I now show to you!

[Reier]

GET IT BECAUSE DONG IS THE VIETNAMESE CURRENCY???????????

[Badnik96]

you guys are so bad that the jokes thread itself has become a joke

how meta

[Naryar]

GET IT BECAUSE DONG IS THE VIETNAMESE CURRENCY???????????

oh

[rnifnuf]

Ronda Rousey: a badass with a great ass!

[Reier]

when life gives you bratwurst you make the bratbest out of it

[rnifnuf]

when life gives you bratwurst you make the bratbest out of it

When life gives you lemons, you make a lemonade stand so you can make a fortune off of your misfortune. Thus is the ideology driving certain court cases!

[RedAce]

What's the difference between dead babies and jizz?

Absolutely nothing.

inb4 ban

[090901]

What's the difference between dead babies and jizz?

Absolutely nothing.

inb4 ban

actually there is as the word jizz just refers to semen and which does not imply that the semen did not reach the female body and in turn does not imply that there was no fertilization going on ohhhhhh

[Naryar]

What's the difference between dead babies and jizz?

Absolutely nothing.

inb4 ban

Dead babies are much more funnier than jizz.

[The Red Blur]

Dead babies are much more funnier than jizz.

[DeadGenocide]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

[ecolusian]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

*insert funny retort here

[Meganerdbomb]

Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It's fun to drive up here in the Hollywood Hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? KNOWLEDGE. In fact, I'm a lot more proud of these 7 new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold 2,000 new books that I bought. It's like, the billionaire Warren Buffet says, "The more you learn, the more you earn." Now, maybe you've seen my TEDx talk, where I talk about how I read a book a day, I read a book a day not to show off, its again about the KNOWLEDGE. In fact, the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here, is that its a reminder, a reminder a that dreams are still possible, cause it wasn't that long ago, that I was in a little town, sleeping on a couch, in a mobile home, with only 47$ in my bank account. I didn't have a college degree. I had no opportunities. But something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a mentor, and another mentor, and a few more mentors, I found 5 mentors. And they showed me what they did to become multi-millionaires. Again, its not just about money, its about the good life. Health, wealth, love and happiness. And so I recorded a little video, it's actually on my website, you can click here on this video, and it'll take you to my website, where I share 3 things they taught me, 3 things that can implement today, no matter where you are. Now, this isn't a get-rich-quick scheme, you know like they say, "If things sound too good to be true, they are too good to be true." I'm not promising you that, tomorrow, you're gonna be able to buy a Lamborghini. But it can happen faster than you think, if you know the proven steps. So, I'll record a little 2 minute video on my website, like I said now it's not the most professional-I just shot it here with my iPhone, but it's REAL. Nobody can argue, this my true story. And I'ma give you the 3 most important things you can do today. So click the link, go there, it's completely free to watch it, just couple minutes.

[The Red Blur]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

I think DeadGenocide is trying to copy my humour.

Knock it off.

[TommyProductionsInc]

So a friend of mine told me that if you drink the blue liquid in a magic 8-ball, you could see your fututre...

...he saw his future and said he would die...

...then he did.

[Badger]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

I think DeadGenocide is trying to copy my humour.

Knock it off.

I mean, it's not like you have a copyright on autism.

[090901]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

I think DeadGenocide is trying to copy my humour.

Knock it off.

I mean, it's not like you have a copyright on autism.

[DeadGenocide]

This thread is more Cringe than Jokes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *airhorn*

kill me

I think DeadGenocide is trying to copy my humour.

Knock it off.

I really wasn't m8 I just thought of that and said hey let me post that on the thread so sorry m8 but your false claims are not effective

[rnifnuf]

What stays functional when burned and ripped?

A CD.

What does God say when He tries to relate to teenage girls?

That is, in fact, a trick question; God is smarter than to engage with teenage girls.
But suppose He wasn't. What would he say?

Like, OMS--Oh MySelf!