i've heard the first step to overcoming PTSD is to share it
so i went to Jordan last summer through my college and it was pretty dandy except GOOD NIGHT THE TOILETS.
i know i may be a bit ingrained in my heathen US habits of anal expulsion but that was six weeks that will be permanently ingrained in my memory. Bear with me.
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I walked out of the airport with a fresh outlook on life. Six weeks in a new country. What would lay before me? I breathed in the fresh dry air of the middle east and hopped on the bus to the hotel. We spent the night. All was well and good. The next morning our group gathered to have a meeting, briefing us on the customs of the Arabs. Then we got to the toilets.
(almost as nasty as what naryar uses on a daily basis)
This ground-level porcelain satanic altar is at the pinnacle of Jordanian toilet innovation. take note of the fine, luxurious, perfectly sculpted foot grips. Gaze in awestruck wonder at the complete lack of all plumbing whatsoever. Truly minimalistic. Malevich would be proud.
who am i kidding THESE THINGS SUCKED BALLS
okay so for starters I am American and thus am used to cans like this
The first thing you need to get used to is you don't get the luxury of sitting. OH NO YOU HAVE TO BE
HARDCORE. IF YOU DON'T HAVE LEG MUSCLES COMPARABLE TO A WILDEBEAST YOU BETTER SUFFER IN SILENCE BECAUSE BUDDY,
THIS AIN'T NO KIDDY RIDE. and you BETTER have friggin GOOD AIM TOO because this is a first shot thing. You don't wanna be goin for round two with this boxer if you miss your right hook (if you get my drift).
so just the thought of this neolithic display may have you in a catatonic state but oh no we aren't done yet. notice the complete lack of any plumbing for a roughly square mile radius. just kidding I lied. you get a hose with a bucket to perform the exorcism with. and this is a super arid country so water isn't plentiful so you use the BARE MINIMUM. and these things overflowed more than my heart upon escape from the stall of horrors.
oh, but Reier, you forgot the joys of wiping!
FOOOOOOL YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT WITHOUT THIS MENTAL IMAGE
you don't have one bucket in the stall. you have two. jordanian toilets don't have effective plumbing. take a shot in the dark what the second bucket is for.
oh and by the way jordanian restrooms dont have TP either. you need to have a veritable fort knox of paper bullion on you AT ALL TIMES
factor in this flawless experience with dietary issues relating to your body adjusting to the new food and lemme tell you i was in this room way more than any human has the right to be.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS MY BRETHREN. By the way, you are not allowed to wipe with your right hand in Muslim countries. apparently it's unclean. YOU KNOW, UNLIKE
dang the Jordanians have strong legs.
