Jokes

[HurricaneAndrew]

This is a real billboard in St. Louis.

[Philippa]

Do nudist parties have a dress code?

no

So what do they say to wear?

your birthday suit

So that's a dress code.

[Team 9]

Do nudist parties have a dress code?

no

So what do they say to wear?

your birthday suit

So that's a dress code.

no, 'cause it means don't wear anything.

[Chaosmancer]

Do nudist parties have a dress code?

no

So what do they say to wear?

your birthday suit

So that's a dress code.

no, 'cause it means don't wear anything.

Ah, but is not wearing anything a dress code in itself? If you think about it, a dress code tells you what to wear, so the dress code is telling you to wear nothing. So therefore a nudist colony does have a dress code.

[Philippa]

Do nudist parties have a dress code?

no

So what do they say to wear?

your birthday suit

So that's a dress code.

no, 'cause it means don't wear anything.

Ah, but is not wearing anything a dress code in itself? If you think about it, a dress code tells you what to wear, so the dress code is telling you to wear nothing. So therefore a nudist colony does have a dress code.

Thank you! Damn my not being in the right place-ness

[Team 9]

oh well. i was bound to loose.

[HurricaneAndrew]

[Chaosmancer]

[madman3]

Life is like a sewer, what get out of it depends on what you put in.

[ACAMS]

                         <blockquote>              </blockquote>   Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a State trooper.
 
  The Trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window and "WHACK", the Trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
 
  The driver says, "what the was that for?"
 
  The Trooper says, "You're in Texas boy. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.
 
  "The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."
 
  The Trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
 
  The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK", the Trooper smacks him up side the head with the nightstick too.
 
  The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
 
  The Trooper says, "Just making your wish come true."
 
  The Passenger says, "huh?"
 
  The Trooper says,   "I know that two miles down the road you were gonna say"................. "I wish that son of a bitch would've tried that sh** with me!"                                                  

[SKBT]

I have sex daily

Sorry, I meant dyslexia.

[Meganerdbomb]

(Image removed from quote.)

That's not funny, not funny at all.

[Mr. AS]

(Image removed from quote.)

im a professional terrorist and i find this offensive

[SKBT]

[Meganerdbomb]

A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The   teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the   bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O   P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to   go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in   the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher   noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When   the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling,   he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The   principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the   tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell   the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him.   The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die   minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other   homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places   to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the   house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple   and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills   the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene   had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

[Sage]

sometimes anti-jokes go too far...

[Meganerdbomb]

The farther it crosses the line, the funnier it is; that's what I always say. Then, again, maybe that's a bit much. Nary might mute me again...

[Chaosmancer]

I have to admit, I did end up chuckling once at that paragraph, about half way through.

[TeamXtreemer]

Mr A borrows Mr B's car, he goes round to his house.

-the day he's to give it back

A: Hey, there's a problem with your car.
B: No worries, I'll fix it, what's the problem.
A: Water in the carburettor.
B: Seems like an easy fix. Where is it?
A: Bottom of a lake.

:B

[Mr. AS]

Mr A

oh