Author Topic: Jokes (Read 148622 times)

R1885 · « **Reply #60 on:** July 15, 2008, 02:23:50 PM »

Heres one:
A blond girl walks into a store to get a firge. She picks one out, but the store gye says that blonds can't bye stuff. She then dyes her hair red, but got the same response. Then she shaves off her hair, but the same thing hapens. She then asks why she can't get it. The man said "Madum, thats a dish whasher."

man manu · « **Reply #61 on:** July 15, 2008, 02:57:32 PM »

its better with the tv and the microwave

man manu · « **Reply #62 on:** July 15, 2008, 02:58:32 PM »

are you allowed rude jokes here?

Sorrow · « **Reply #63 on:** July 15, 2008, 04:13:13 PM »

Quote from: RA2lover;10857

Trains got too much KE for him to survive with only scratches.

Could've just winged 'im.

RA2lover · « **Reply #64 on:** July 16, 2008, 01:18:58 PM »

R1885 · « **Reply #65 on:** July 16, 2008, 02:12:03 PM »

Thats wrong...

Resetti's Replicas · « **Reply #66 on:** July 16, 2008, 10:45:23 PM »

Ok, my friend told me this one, so thank Resetti's Friend if you like this one.

A guy is looking to buy a car, so he goes into a dealerhip. The salesman asks, "would you be interested on a car with a special CD player? All you do is shout out any genre of music, and it plays a song." The man is intrigued, so agrees to take it for a test drive. As they're driving along, the salesman says "country," and the CD player begins playing country music. Then he calls out "Reggae" and it switches over to reggae. The man decides he wants to try it out himself, so ha calls out "Early 1960's chart toppers" Amazingly, it recognizes that too. As they're driving along, they see an old man furiously waving his cane around at some children on his lawn. He screams out "F#$king kids!" And then the CD player begins to play,
"'cause it's a thriller! Thriller night! And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike."

eFFeeMMe · « **Reply #67 on:** July 22, 2008, 07:34:01 PM »

Well, this works better in Italian but oh well =p

There's two hills, and on top of those two italian herd keepers(somewhat the italian redneck protoype) have their homes. Every single day, after waking up and before going to their herds, they loudly salute each other:
"Ciao Antonio!"
"Ciao Gianni!"
"Have a good day!"
"Have a good day you too!"
One day, however, Gianni says:
"Hi Antonio"
"Che?" (what?)
"Hi Antonio!"
"What's that?"
"Why, I learnt English!"
"How'd you do that?"
"Well I got a radio, I listened to english channels, and now I know English!"
The next day, Antonio sets out to buy a radio. He enters a shop and asks the shopkeeper:
"Hi, I need a radio. Is this one good?"
"Hello, yes, in fact it's one of our best models, it's got great reception. It'll cost you 300 euros"
"Wha? No way, I don't have that much money."
"That's okay, we have cheaper ones. Like this one. Still pretty good, only 100 euros."
"Still way too much"
"Well... This is the basic model, 25 euros. What do you say?"
"Toooo much. I'm a herd keeper, what kind of money do you think I make?"
The shop keeper then goes in the back of the shop, searches around a little, then comes up with a nearly-broken, stitched-up radio which is probably thirty years old or something:
"Well, that's the cheapest I've got. It barely holds itself together, but it works. Maybe. For 5 euros."
Antonio buys the radio and goes home.
The next day, as usual, the herd keepers greet:
"Hi, Antonio!"
"*Chrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*"

ACAMS · « **Reply #68 on:** July 29, 2008, 05:55:03 PM »

The Banana Test There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds !!!

Sage · « **Reply #69 on:** July 29, 2008, 06:00:47 PM »

squirrel

Scrap Daddy · « **Reply #70 on:** July 29, 2008, 06:56:49 PM »

lion eats everyone and then climbs the tree.

Sage · « **Reply #71 on:** July 29, 2008, 07:46:01 PM »

Quote from: Scrap Daddy;11769

lion eats everyone and then climbs the tree.

the squirrel would already be up the tree getting the banana when the lion started to chow down

pyscolone · « **Reply #72 on:** July 29, 2008, 07:50:38 PM »

noone will win bc theres no banana tree around.
WINNAR?

R0B0SH4RK · « **Reply #73 on:** July 29, 2008, 08:35:49 PM »

coconut trees do not grow bananas :3

Resetti's Replicas · « **Reply #74 on:** July 29, 2008, 08:35:58 PM »

Quote from: pyscolone;11776

noone will win bc theres no banana tree around.
WINNAR?

Yes and no. Technically, the plant isn't a tree, but it can grow to be quite tall, so the question is valid because it's still a feat for the animals to reach the bananas

R0B0SH4RK · « **Reply #75 on:** July 29, 2008, 08:37:21 PM »

They still don't grow bananas on coconut trees.

pyscolone · « **Reply #76 on:** July 29, 2008, 09:19:28 PM »

icwutudidthar

Resetti's Replicas · « **Reply #77 on:** July 30, 2008, 12:17:42 AM »

My bad, I thought I'd caught the trick, but I didn't look cles enough

System32 · « **Reply #78 on:** August 01, 2008, 10:06:31 AM »

Giraffe.

The question asks who can reach the item in question. Loins can't climb, they don't have the right wrists. Squirrels are slow climbers compared to Chimps, but Chimpanzees are adapted to Large trees with branches. Giraffes are made for grabbing leaves on the very tip of trees, so it can reach without any effort. However, The question is about a banana, so the question is: Who would be so stupid as to put that there!?

pyscolone · « **Reply #79 on:** August 01, 2008, 10:25:47 AM »

obviously not.