Jokes

[COOLRUNNER87]

(Image removed from quote.)

I effing hate that game. My gaming club owns it, and it's possibly one of the most inane board games I've ever seen played. Hell, the game can even defeat the purpose of playing it: at any time, if all people agree they win the game, the game's over and everyone wins.

[NFX]

(Image removed from quote.)

I effing hate that game. My gaming club owns it, and it's possibly one of the most inane board games I've ever seen played. Hell, the game can even defeat the purpose of playing it: at any time, if all people agree they win the game, the game's over and everyone wins.

That does sound like a terrible game. I thought the point of games was to beat the other players.
 

[Velocity EVO]

Just found this

You know you are in a Texas church when
People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

The restrooms are outside.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

The pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
 

[Naryar]

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

Hahaha

[NFX]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[G.K.]

Posted already, but still very clever.

[somestrangeguy]

[Naryar]

Though i was mildly amused when seeing the jedi at baseball thing, this thread is not making me laugh anymore

Or at least, much less than i was a few dozen pages ago.

[CaptainUseless]

Lol, these jokes are hilarious

[somestrangeguy]

Though i was mildly amused when seeing the jedi at baseball thing, this thread is not making me laugh anymore

Or at least, much less than i was a few dozen pages ago.

True, there just isnt that many good pictures coming to KuvatON these days and the fact that their database was wiped out a few months ago means that all those that I have posted earlier dont exist anymore. That propably caused the posters of good pictures go somewhere else.

[Jack Daniels]

[Naryar]

AHAHAHAHA LOL

Well thank you jack, you resurrected the thread 

[NFX]

I like David Cameron.

[TeamXtreemer]

hmm.

[System32]

[Badnik96]

i dont get it.

[Jack Daniels]

Mac mouse only has 1 button. I think Portal requires a two button mouse to play?

[Badnik96]

ohh.

[frezal]

i dont get it.

He's using an Apple mouse from the '90s (which wouldn't even be able to plug into modern Macs without a PS/2 to USB converter).

[Jack Daniels]

i dont get it.

He's using an Apple mouse from the '90s (which wouldn't even be able to plug into modern Macs without a PS/2 to USB converter).

Silly Frezzie! Macs of that vintage never had PS/2.  It was called Mac Serial port. It's even wired differently too.  :D

Edit: Holy carp!  I just realized our avatars look oddly similar.