Author Topic: Jokes (Read 148646 times)

System32 · « **Reply #140 on:** September 12, 2008, 02:27:26 PM »

The date?

Hydro · « **Reply #141 on:** September 12, 2008, 08:51:16 PM »

anyone decode yet?

Somebody · « **Reply #142 on:** September 13, 2008, 06:24:10 AM »

Not me.

Hydro · « **Reply #143 on:** September 13, 2008, 07:29:16 PM »

hint: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

ACAMS · « **Reply #144 on:** September 13, 2008, 09:42:31 PM »

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']A Couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot.
One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach
Almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried,except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and
Debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people
with boom boxes and other electronic devices?'

He hadn't -- and said so.

Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a
Towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the
Wife was almost hopping up & down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.

The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly.

'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

'Well, w hat is it then? What does she do?' his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'

'Batteries?' cried the wife.

'Yes ....' he replied -

SCROLL DOWN

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OOOOH - You're gonna dislike me for this - but it
will make your day!!! And I bet you forward it.

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She sells C cells down by the seashore.[/FONT]

Sage · « **Reply #145 on:** September 13, 2008, 09:57:57 PM »

Hydro · « **Reply #146 on:** September 13, 2008, 11:45:36 PM »

R0B0SH4RK · « **Reply #147 on:** September 14, 2008, 01:44:11 AM »

Hahaha... my god, that's terrible xD

Madiaba · « **Reply #148 on:** September 14, 2008, 09:04:56 AM »

Agreed, terrible joke....

.

Actually ACAMS, you may have some c-cells washed up/delivered outside your door... thanks to Ike.

Hydro · « **Reply #149 on:** September 14, 2008, 07:02:21 PM »

-----> decode <-----

man manu · « **Reply #150 on:** September 15, 2008, 11:11:43 AM »

oh my god hydro. nobody can decode your decode thingy. i doubt anybody has even tried...

System32 · « **Reply #151 on:** September 15, 2008, 01:23:24 PM »

s l p o a s c t e

Slop Scate?

ACAMS · « **Reply #152 on:** September 18, 2008, 11:44:58 AM »

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
There's a car being towed from the parking lot, he shouted.
An ambulance just drove by!
Looks like the Andersons have company, he called out.
Matt's riding a new bike!
Looks like the Sanders are moving!
Jason is on his skate board....
After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,
How do you know they are having sex?

''Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'

man manu · « **Reply #153 on:** September 18, 2008, 12:18:16 PM »

lol that's pretty funny :D

Hydro · « **Reply #154 on:** September 19, 2008, 10:36:25 AM »

lost in space!

Edit: this edit was made in computer operations at school(snicker, snicker).

Venko · « **Reply #155 on:** September 25, 2008, 10:10:17 AM »

If you all think my english is bad (at least i can understand all things here on the forum and can write posts...) listen this :
Once i played Starcraft 1. I was in a team with some Korean student (he was student and studing in England, this mean he should know english VERY well...). I was starting an attack and he chat me this :
No attack. Zerg very strong.
(He was not in a hurry when he type it... His other messages was like this too)
So, as you can see, im not the worst english speaking person on earth :D ... Maybe...

Madiaba · « **Reply #156 on:** September 25, 2008, 11:25:18 AM »

John visited an old people's home and began visiting with a blind, elderly lady. As he listened and learned from her experiences, he helped himself to some peanuts he saw in a jar at the side of the woman's chair. Having finished most of them and feeling a bit selfish, he asked the woman if she would like a peanut too. She replied, "Oh, I can't eat those things, my dear. I just suck the chocolate off, and then drop them in that jar next to my chair."

Naryar · « **Reply #157 on:** September 25, 2008, 12:59:24 PM »

@Venko: of course you're not the worse English-speaking person on Earth.

@Mad: LOL!

By the way, I hate Zergs.

Somebody · « **Reply #158 on:** September 25, 2008, 09:11:30 PM »

Mad:lol

Hydro · « **Reply #159 on:** September 26, 2008, 10:48:11 AM »

i heard a different version of that story from my science teacher last year. but it is still funny.