Author Topic: Jokes (Read 148618 times)

kill343gs · « **Reply #120 on:** September 10, 2008, 10:04:34 PM »

Her hand? Technically true.

Hydro · « **Reply #121 on:** September 10, 2008, 11:09:02 PM »

the guy's dick.

ACAMS · « **Reply #122 on:** September 11, 2008, 12:18:02 AM »

M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking??

H@zm47 · « **Reply #123 on:** September 11, 2008, 04:40:46 AM »

lol good one :D
I am a HUGE fan of demotivational posters at the moment here are some of my favorites:
#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

Enjoy:)

Somebody · « **Reply #124 on:** September 11, 2008, 06:05:15 AM »

lol the last one is the best.
ACAMS, m&ms do melt in you hand, if your hand has a little water on it. All of the color comes off.

Naryar · « **Reply #125 on:** September 11, 2008, 09:25:16 AM »

I love the physics and math one, and the last one is awesome.

EDIT: I think they meant "speed of sound"

Venko · « **Reply #126 on:** September 11, 2008, 09:25:33 AM »

Check this out :

BTW H@zm47, i also like the demotivational posters. I have a tons of them. I even have some very funny created by me. I dont want to spam a lot with them and waste space, but sometime i may post some

Madiaba · « **Reply #127 on:** September 11, 2008, 12:28:58 PM »

Ok, a Blonde joke:

John, walked into a restaurant around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the commons table and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at John and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?'
John says, “I know he'll jump!'
The blonde replied, 'Well, aren’t we cocky today; I bet he won't jump.'
John placed a $20 bill on the table and said, 'You're on!'

Just as the blonde placed her money down, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to John, saying,'Fair's fair.. Here's your money'
John replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5:00 PM news, and I knew he would jump.'
The blond replied, 'I did too,... but I didn't think he'd do it again.'

John took the money..

somestrangeguy · « **Reply #128 on:** September 11, 2008, 12:35:54 PM »

Lol, the hamster fighting machine! Now I have found a reason to get a pet :D

Heres a few pics i found.

Translation for the last pic:
lodetin: How can I download the internet onto my computer? I have 120gb harddrive, so i think i can fit the whole internet there, then I could surf the net whenever I want, and then could I also be possible to hack some of those pages, because their passwords would be saved on my computer?

Baabo: Ok, isee.

The internet surely would not fit on your computer, even if you had million terabytes. The webpages update daily anyways.

lodetin: They wouldnt be needed to update on my computer, it would be good enough if I could just download them all on my computer. Is 120gb enough to store the whole internet??

Naryar · « **Reply #129 on:** September 11, 2008, 01:00:00 PM »

LOOOL the forum!

pyscolone · « **Reply #130 on:** September 11, 2008, 05:50:20 PM »

this always makes me lol

Hydro · « **Reply #131 on:** September 11, 2008, 06:41:56 PM »

i had just gotten up.

and they didn't have m&m's back then.

this guy was going to assasinate the president, who was paranoid. the assasin came up behind the president, cocked his gun, and said: "just because you're paraniod dosen't mean they're not really out to get you."

pyscolone · « **Reply #132 on:** September 11, 2008, 08:48:00 PM »

can u spot the problem?

Sage · « **Reply #133 on:** September 11, 2008, 08:56:42 PM »

AHHHAHAHAH. took me a while, but i see it.

andrewm0304 · « **Reply #134 on:** September 11, 2008, 09:01:35 PM »

Those were both pretty funny... nice and random :)

R1885 · « **Reply #135 on:** September 11, 2008, 09:09:03 PM »

OHHH, FLIPED OFF!!!!

Naryar · « **Reply #136 on:** September 12, 2008, 12:26:37 AM »

Obviously these are no parsley leaves. Im pretty sure it's mint.

Problem...hmm... Wait, isn't child porn prohibited (because she/they obviously got it in the ass)

Anyways, both of them are nice.

Hydro · « **Reply #137 on:** September 12, 2008, 09:05:15 AM »

Decode:

s l p o a s c t e

Gigafrost · « **Reply #138 on:** September 12, 2008, 10:48:31 AM »

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Naryar · « **Reply #139 on:** September 12, 2008, 11:04:31 AM »

Sweeeet.