Author Topic: I dont know what to do... (Read 2489 times)

lloopp D lloopp · « **Reply #20 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:23:36 AM »

TriTron.

Go to the police.

Seriously.

If your dad beats your mother, you need help.

And it WILL help.

Naryar · « **Reply #21 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:28:53 AM »

I really though that was a thread about Dawn or furries or computer addiction problems...

Anyways Jonzu, here's my two cents : just either ignore her bitching or try to calm her down. If second doesn't works, ignore her.

Crying won't help either. Just keep your head cool.

lloopp D lloopp · « **Reply #22 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:32:41 AM »

I'm being serious, but maybe this explains the whole Dawn thing?

:|

Jonzu95 · « **Reply #23 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:32:59 AM »

Well, I will do one thing today. I Won't speak to her.

Quote from: lloopp D lloopp on March 23, 2010, 06:32:41 AM

I'm being serious, but maybe this explains the whole Dawn thing?

:|

What do you mean? O.o

lloopp D lloopp · « **Reply #24 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:34:45 AM »

Think about it.

Pwnator · « **Reply #25 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:51:27 AM »

To be more clear about it: If there's something bothering a person, that person will most likely use/do something as an escape from these problems. In your case, you probably used Pokemon as your escape. As these problems grew worse, you most likely used Dawn as a source of love when you're not getting enough of it. Just a possibility, but it might apply to you as well.

Jonzu95 · « **Reply #26 on:** March 23, 2010, 06:55:43 AM »

Dawn doesn't accompany anything with My and My mum's arguing...

Naryar · « **Reply #27 on:** March 23, 2010, 07:59:48 AM »

Pwn is right.

Heh, not only good at giving RA2 building advice...

Madiaba · « **Reply #28 on:** March 23, 2010, 08:43:06 AM »

Quote from: Naryar on March 23, 2010, 07:59:48 AM

Pwn is right.

Heh, not only good at giving RA2 building advice...

Deep insight there, Pwn. Few do honest introspection these days.

Specifically: When reality stinks we tend to abuse ourselves (put crap into our bodies+minds) to escape the real world and create a little a 'pretend world'. Then just like a little 'realm' we protect it with at least 'walls', but also sometimes 'armies'.
If we use 'walls' only we become introverted in relationships, keeping others at a distance so as to not disrupt my pretend refuge. So I live in my job, or in front of a computer screen, and become a social recluse.
If I introduce 'armies' to protect this little pretend world, then I become predatorial and MUST go about stepping on others so that I 'feel' in control,.. and to gloss over the fact that I really lack 'self-control'... manifested in the facts that (a) I'm addicted, and (b) I'm scared as hell to just relate with others as 'equals' (without 'oppressing' them).
Then I contrive pat little rationalizations to justify my ways.... but would not appreciate being treated like a dog myself.

Jonzu, If you can't see what Pwn is describing, then please just keep the thought as a possibility for now....

Madiaba · « **Reply #29 on:** March 23, 2010, 10:22:44 AM »

Jonzu, I'm taking an hour out of my work routine to help you out. Please just read and think this through and I think you'll be glad you did. You can escape in fiction if you want to, but I hope your mum is more important than that...
Your mum is probably frustrated and overwhelmed, and she's venting in non-related places (displacement). Some Physics of Psychology: If you think of people as organized 'systems' it's easier to understand people. But, there's also the not-so-good fact that all 'systems' fall apart (increasing entropy), which means that we and everything around us are really 'dying' systems,... and we can accelerate the process for ourselves, and others,... but we cannot stop it.
When we expend energy (do work) to accomplish an objective, if we are successful then our expended energy was utilized efficiently and there is little by-product. Just like a fine-tuned Chevy engine(no bias here) that has all its cylinders firing rightly, will produce little emissions, because the energy is being utilized efficiently.
But if you pull 2-3 sparkplug wires off, then the expended energy is not efficiently utilized, and it produces a proportionate amount of by-product that will be vented. It has a low investment/return ratio. So it is when we invest energy into things, and get little, or no return; the energy was not efficiently utilized and that produces by-product that we will tend to vent on the 'source of the frustration', or perhaps 'displace' onto other things/people around us.

(Note: I'm not saying we're all 'stuck' with functioning like this, but merely pointing out that this is what we usually do in our ignorance.)

Your part, Jonzu: Your mum is striving to deal with the chaos in her life. You should make sure that you are not 'adding' to her load, by being bratty, self-centered, out-of-touch, or any other form of immaturity. But rather instead of 'escaping problems' (leaving more to your mom and being a load yourself), start staying in touch, and contributing to the work needed to deal with things as you're presently able. Help out at home, do well in school, offer to do work that is needed to be a contributor.
This will lighten the load for your mum, and help you grow up as an asset to family/society instead of a liability. And your own capacity to deal with real problems will increase proportionate to your experiences. And the return for this investment you will see is worth more than gold....

Jonzu95 · « **Reply #30 on:** March 23, 2010, 10:53:00 AM »

Okay mad... I got it somehow... But, I want to tell for you guys that it wasnt SO big arguement, that you are going to do so long posts :eek anyway, I didnt escaped to "my own world" but I wont speak to her today but looks like she has calmed down... So it means that the war has ended...

JoeBlo · « **Reply #31 on:** March 23, 2010, 11:03:59 AM »

such wonderful amounts of support.. its fantastic to see everyone band together and show support for another member...

what Pwn wrote was right on my mind too... Its worth it to sit down and think over it more before dismissing it, you will find that there is more then you on here that have some source of escaping reality.... (even though it may not show or express on here like you do)

I have done it before myself, to get away from things that hurt... I later decided to put things right once again and.... well this sums it up perfectly...

Quote from: Madiaba on March 23, 2010, 10:22:44 AM

And the return for this investment you will see is worth more than gold...

I encourage you to think deeply about Madiaba's words above, its not an impossible situation but one that can be fixed into something wonderful for years to come...

GameKing3 · « **Reply #32 on:** March 24, 2010, 06:03:23 PM »

Glad to see that things worked themselves out. I have days where I fight with parents alot (only one more year then off to college) anyways honestly parents and kids will fight. It happens I don't know if you argue back but if you do don't it only makes things worse. The best thing to do is just listen to what your parent is saying I know that it will be hard not to say something back but it prevents the argument from growing. Your parents will get over it if you give them some time just do your best to try to avoid arguments I used to fight with my parents all the time until I started avoiding conflict. Just remember this enjoy your life and your parents because I got news for you life comes at you fast, and you're parents won't be there forever so enjoy the time you have with them.

Serge · « **Reply #33 on:** March 28, 2010, 01:38:21 PM »

kill yourself lol

On a serious note, stop posting about this crap on an internet forum and talk to your mother.

powerrave · « **Reply #34 on:** March 28, 2010, 01:51:24 PM »

dude relax. not everyone has an easy life and some people just want/need help or advice and will then ask for it on a forum where they are known. i think it is pretty normal to do so.

Serge · « **Reply #35 on:** March 28, 2010, 01:59:12 PM »

Quote from: powerrave on March 28, 2010, 01:51:24 PM

dude relax. not everyone has an easy life.

I am pretty much relaxed.

Is this what you call having a hard life? Having an argument with your mother?

Rolo · « **Reply #36 on:** March 28, 2010, 02:56:27 PM »

Serge, will you just shut the **** up already? Thanks in advance.

frezal · « **Reply #37 on:** March 28, 2010, 03:00:02 PM »

He does raise a good point. Arguing with one's parents is a requirement of being a teenager. The child has raging hormones and the parent(s) is/are tired of putting up with his/her sh**.

lloopp D lloopp · « **Reply #38 on:** March 28, 2010, 03:06:10 PM »

WTF serge?

At least try to help him.

Just leave if you suggest "kill yourself lol" to someone's problems.

Gazea2 · « **Reply #39 on:** March 28, 2010, 03:09:55 PM »

Jonzu, I really feel for you. My parents split up 2 weeks ago and now they won't stop bitching about each other. (Please excuse my language.) Now they live in 2 different places and I go around both of their houses. I live 2 different lives and I know what it feels like. I suggest that you sit down and have a talk with her. It can help if you tell her how you feel. You may be able to sort something out and be able to avoid it happening again.

Also listen to what everyone else has said. It will help you lots. Good luck.