gametechmods
Off-Topic => Chatterbox => Topic started by: Jonzu95 on March 22, 2010, 03:38:29 PM
-
I had bad arguement with my mum. It happens very often. today, My mum came mad because I had to close the computer but I didnt wanted... Then, I closed it and my mum started saying that I am selfish and all kind of that stuff. 2nd arguement today started when I dropped ONE plum to the floor. Then he started again complaining. I took a plate, put some bread to toaster and I sitted to the chair, we argued more and more... Then my mum went insane. She put all the plums to my plate and started to shout for me. I cried. So did Temi too... Temi didnt too nothing, but still cried. I dont know what to do... Should I live with my mum without internet connection except my phone. Or live with my dad, no rules, no limited computer times... :frown:
-
I feel your pain. My parents are always fighting about stupid stuff. Then they yell at me when I try to mediate and my sister gets all sad.
-
are you having financial issues like me? are you three months in debt of bills like me? think about that
goe with witchever is nicer to you is what I'd do. Don't feel bad if you cry, my mom makes me breakdown and cry to.
-
Sparkey quit whining about your own problems. They are irrelevant to what Jonzu is saying.
-
That was a bit hard to understand, but go with the house with rules. You'll thank your mother later in life.
are you having financial issues like me? are you three months in debt of bills like me? think about that
How do you have any debt? You're not even a teen! Debt is what describes my situation. I owe over $30,000 in student loans and about $1,800 to my university (which I must pay before I can re-enroll).
-
7,00 dllers in debt for a failing store
[/offtopic]
-
Jonzu, your mom is under a lot of stress. Parenting can be really hard because sometimes it feels like adults and kids operate very differently. If your parents are separated, that can be really stressful too. It makes her second guess choices that she made in her life... and probably (while she does not regret having you as a son) she probably feels guilty for putting you in a position where your parents are not together. Feelings like that can weigh very heavily on her heart. Sometimes she is going to feel like she is doing the best she can as a parent, but if you are disagreeable then she can feel dejected because maybe her good is not good enough. It is not your fault at all though.
Women, in general, are very emotional creatures. They can get very stirred up in an emotional moment. The best way to navigate the situation is stay calm and encourage conversation rather than confrontation. If she is yelling at you just say: "Mom, I really don't want to fight about this, but let's talk about it and figure it out though." 99 percent of the time, women want to be heard and acknowledged. You don't necessarily have to agree... but if you absorb what they say and take it seriously you will go a long way with women in your life.
Best resource when you get a few years older: "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" By: John Gray
-
7,00 dllers in debt for a failing store
[/offtopic]
Who in their right mind would give a child $700 (or did you mean $7000?) to create a store?
-
jonzu, i think it is best to go with what JD said. i can understand that you are in a tough situation, but i can't really help you. i don't have any experience with this kind of stuff.
-
7,00 dllers in debt for a failing store
[/offtopic]
Who in their right mind would give a child $700 (or did you mean $7000?) to create a store?
What confuses me more is how the hell a child earns $700 / $7000 dollars in 3 months.
EDIT: Sorry Jonzu, I'm now going to read your opening post.
EDIT 2: Ontopic: That would pretty much depend on your relationship to your father. Do you respect him? Does he know what's good for you?
You can't really respect a person that does you wrong like that. Arguments will turn worse.
If both are yes, I'd say live with your father.
I grew up living with my mother against my will, always wanted to be with my father, little rules, but I respected him. I didn't respect my mom, in fact I hated her at times, but my father, sad enough, never had a real place to live, or when he did, it was with some bitch I couldn't stand (although still 50/50 owner of the house my mom, me and my sister lived in)
It's really hard to grow up to be a man without a father, dude. Believe me. I moved out a couple of months ago and it was the best thing I ever did in my life. I can finally be happy again.
Also,
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/b/b0/Couragewolf10.jpg)
Take care man.
-
Thats pretty good advice their Jack Daniels it may help me improve my relation with my mom to.
Jonzu95 I know how you feel my parents are divorce to thats how I got anger issues. When that happens try to understand were she is coming from don't get all mad at her for all the rules. My mom almost hates my dad, they both say different things. Do you get to visit your dad if so only amply his rule at his house and her rules at her house. As for arguing #1 try not to get into a verbal fight when that happens leave the room other wise it only gets worse then when your calmed down and calmly try to find out why she is upset that can help a lot. If your money short try to only snack if your family has the cash to afford it eating a lot when money tight while also put more stress on your mom. Again try to understand where your mom is coming from and try to compensate for the troubles it should help.
Good luck
-
I never did fight with my mom, but just remember......someday she will not be here and you will wish you had acted better.
I wish my mom was still around I can tell you! (Kinda getting to miss my ol daddy too!)
-
Then he started again complaining. I took a plate, put some bread to toaster and I sitted to the chair, we argued more and more... Then my mum went insane.
wut. Your mom is a he?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
-
Then he started again complaining. I took a plate, put some bread to toaster and I sitted to the chair, we argued more and more... Then my mum went insane.
wut. Your mom is a he?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
His mom is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/).
-
I seriously feel your pain Jonzu, I argue back at my parents too, but instead of losing stuff, I get beaten. To be honest, I have actually run away from home several times, but it didn't last more than a few hours(longest time being around 8 hours), then I'd come back.
I have seen my dad beat my mom, and he told me if I ever call the police, he said, "I will hunt you down and kill you." My parents don't yell at me much though(mainly because my brother has F's in all his classes).
So I know what you're going through.
-
Your dad beats your mom?!
-
I have seen my dad beat my mom, and he told me if I ever call the police, he said, "I will hunt you down and kill you."
That is a serious problem. As scary as his threat is, seeking help seems like a damn good option. Living in an unstable environment like that isn't healthy for you physically, or mentally.
-
I have seen my dad beat my mom, and he told me if I ever call the police, he said, "I will hunt you down and kill you."
That is a serious problem. As scary as his threat is, seeking help seems like a damn good option. Living in an unstable environment like that isn't healthy for you physically, or mentally.
I have to agree. TriTon you need to get some help asap. Living in that kind of atmosphere tends to cause kids a lot of hurt and then they do bad stuff to try to get rid of the pain( I'm not saying you'll do that just saying what I heard and what can results usually happens). I'v herd story's like this at my church and man they.... thats a different story but you need to get help your dad threatens that stuff man.....
-
My dad is the lazyestin the world all he's does is sitts on his ass all day watching football, if I play with him and he keeps losing say from the other day he went blolistick when he was losing at CTR and Crash Bash! As for my mum she works all day or goes out it's always do this? and do that and god noes blimming everything else and as a young kid well it is a big pain in the backside!
-
Thanks guys. That helped little 'bit... :redface:
-
TriTron.
Go to the police.
Seriously.
If your dad beats your mother, you need help.
And it WILL help.
-
I really though that was a thread about Dawn or furries or computer addiction problems...
Anyways Jonzu, here's my two cents : just either ignore her bitching or try to calm her down. If second doesn't works, ignore her.
Crying won't help either. Just keep your head cool.
-
I'm being serious, but maybe this explains the whole Dawn thing?
:|
-
Well, I will do one thing today. I Won't speak to her.
I'm being serious, but maybe this explains the whole Dawn thing?
:|
What do you mean? O.o
-
Think about it.
-
To be more clear about it: If there's something bothering a person, that person will most likely use/do something as an escape from these problems. In your case, you probably used Pokemon as your escape. As these problems grew worse, you most likely used Dawn as a source of love when you're not getting enough of it. Just a possibility, but it might apply to you as well.
-
Dawn doesn't accompany anything with My and My mum's arguing...
-
Pwn is right.
Heh, not only good at giving RA2 building advice...
-
Pwn is right.
Heh, not only good at giving RA2 building advice...
Deep insight there, Pwn. Few do honest introspection these days.
Specifically: When reality stinks we tend to abuse ourselves (put crap into our bodies+minds) to escape the real world and create a little a 'pretend world'. Then just like a little 'realm' we protect it with at least 'walls', but also sometimes 'armies'.
If we use 'walls' only we become introverted in relationships, keeping others at a distance so as to not disrupt my pretend refuge. So I live in my job, or in front of a computer screen, and become a social recluse.
If I introduce 'armies' to protect this little pretend world, then I become predatorial and MUST go about stepping on others so that I 'feel' in control,.. and to gloss over the fact that I really lack 'self-control'... manifested in the facts that (a) I'm addicted, and (b) I'm scared as hell to just relate with others as 'equals' (without 'oppressing' them).
Then I contrive pat little rationalizations to justify my ways.... but would not appreciate being treated like a dog myself.
Jonzu, If you can't see what Pwn is describing, then please just keep the thought as a possibility for now....
-
Jonzu, I'm taking an hour out of my work routine to help you out. Please just read and think this through and I think you'll be glad you did. You can escape in fiction if you want to, but I hope your mum is more important than that...
Your mum is probably frustrated and overwhelmed, and she's venting in non-related places (displacement). Some Physics of Psychology: If you think of people as organized 'systems' it's easier to understand people. But, there's also the not-so-good fact that all 'systems' fall apart (increasing entropy), which means that we and everything around us are really 'dying' systems,... and we can accelerate the process for ourselves, and others,... but we cannot stop it.
When we expend energy (do work) to accomplish an objective, if we are successful then our expended energy was utilized efficiently and there is little by-product. Just like a fine-tuned Chevy engine(no bias here) that has all its cylinders firing rightly, will produce little emissions, because the energy is being utilized efficiently.
But if you pull 2-3 sparkplug wires off, then the expended energy is not efficiently utilized, and it produces a proportionate amount of by-product that will be vented. It has a low investment/return ratio. So it is when we invest energy into things, and get little, or no return; the energy was not efficiently utilized and that produces by-product that we will tend to vent on the 'source of the frustration', or perhaps 'displace' onto other things/people around us.
(Note: I'm not saying we're all 'stuck' with functioning like this, but merely pointing out that this is what we usually do in our ignorance.)
Your part, Jonzu: Your mum is striving to deal with the chaos in her life. You should make sure that you are not 'adding' to her load, by being bratty, self-centered, out-of-touch, or any other form of immaturity. But rather instead of 'escaping problems' (leaving more to your mom and being a load yourself), start staying in touch, and contributing to the work needed to deal with things as you're presently able. Help out at home, do well in school, offer to do work that is needed to be a contributor.
This will lighten the load for your mum, and help you grow up as an asset to family/society instead of a liability. And your own capacity to deal with real problems will increase proportionate to your experiences. And the return for this investment you will see is worth more than gold....
-
Okay mad... I got it somehow... But, I want to tell for you guys that it wasnt SO big arguement, that you are going to do so long posts :eek anyway, I didnt escaped to "my own world" but I wont speak to her today but looks like she has calmed down... So it means that the war has ended...
-
such wonderful amounts of support.. its fantastic to see everyone band together and show support for another member...
what Pwn wrote was right on my mind too... Its worth it to sit down and think over it more before dismissing it, you will find that there is more then you on here that have some source of escaping reality.... (even though it may not show or express on here like you do)
I have done it before myself, to get away from things that hurt... I later decided to put things right once again and.... well this sums it up perfectly...
And the return for this investment you will see is worth more than gold...
I encourage you to think deeply about Madiaba's words above, its not an impossible situation but one that can be fixed into something wonderful for years to come...
-
Glad to see that things worked themselves out. I have days where I fight with parents alot (only one more year then off to college) anyways honestly parents and kids will fight. It happens I don't know if you argue back but if you do don't it only makes things worse. The best thing to do is just listen to what your parent is saying I know that it will be hard not to say something back but it prevents the argument from growing. Your parents will get over it if you give them some time just do your best to try to avoid arguments I used to fight with my parents all the time until I started avoiding conflict. Just remember this enjoy your life and your parents because I got news for you life comes at you fast, and you're parents won't be there forever so enjoy the time you have with them.
-
kill yourself lol
On a serious note, stop posting about this crap on an internet forum and talk to your mother.
-
dude relax. not everyone has an easy life and some people just want/need help or advice and will then ask for it on a forum where they are known. i think it is pretty normal to do so.
-
dude relax. not everyone has an easy life.
I am pretty much relaxed.
Is this what you call having a hard life? Having an argument with your mother?
-
Serge, will you just shut the **** up already? Thanks in advance.
-
He does raise a good point. Arguing with one's parents is a requirement of being a teenager. The child has raging hormones and the parent(s) is/are tired of putting up with his/her sh**.
-
WTF serge?
At least try to help him.
Just leave if you suggest "kill yourself lol" to someone's problems.
-
Jonzu, I really feel for you. My parents split up 2 weeks ago and now they won't stop bitching about each other. (Please excuse my language.) Now they live in 2 different places and I go around both of their houses. I live 2 different lives and I know what it feels like. I suggest that you sit down and have a talk with her. It can help if you tell her how you feel. You may be able to sort something out and be able to avoid it happening again.
Also listen to what everyone else has said. It will help you lots. Good luck.
-
Gazea, I have the same problem... My mum and dad lives in different places, so it means that I have 2 lifes too... But now the situation is good, all are happy. But I will tell more if we will have more arguements. Maybe I will have or maybe I wont have arguements anymore...
-
Serge, will you just shut the **ck up already? Thanks in advance.
WTF serge?
o hai, i'm in ur forums trolling ur threads
-
Gazea, I have the same problem... My mum and dad lives in different places, so it means that I have 2 lifes too... But now the situation is good, all are happy. But I will tell more if we will have more arguements. Maybe I will have or maybe I wont have arguements anymore...
I didn't mean for you to feel sorry for me! Just, take everyones advice and all should be fine. ;)
-
welcome to my world. My dad ditched my mom right when I was born, and had two other girls with someone else. I know I'm supposed to "respect" them, but my dad is a bitch.
-
Wow.
I feel lucky that my parents are OK.
That's really terrible Sparkey.
-
That is terrible. I feel for you Sparkey.
-
welcome to my world. My dad ditched my mom right when I was born, and had two other girls with someone else. I know I'm supposed to "respect" them, but my dad is a bitch.
Woah... I thought my position was bad with my parents splitting up 2 weeks ago but I have no idea how you must feel. I'm sorry Sparkey.
-
Umm... Yeah... I had another arguement yesterday. I was surfing on GTM with my phone. And I was watching a movie too... Then my mum came, took my phone and said that, ''When you watch TV and you surf on the net with your phone, I will take this phone and you will get it on the morning.'' I was pissed... Then my mum went to shower and I started to find my phone. I found it under some clothes. I quickly read the Forums and put the phone on the clothes. (I forgot to put it under the clothes) When she came back from the Shower, She checked my phone (which was ON the clothes) and came to my room and said, ''Why the phone is on the clothes?'' I said, ''because I checked it, was it loading'' Then my mum said. ''Ok, You will get this after the school'' I was soo pissed...
And btw, the thread name is ''I dont know what to do...'' because I have good and bad things at both homes''
Tarttila
+Internet
+No Play limit
-15 km to school, have to wake up 6 am.
Jämsä
+2 km to school (by bike, under 10 minutes, by walk (25 minutes)
-Time limit: 2 hours + 2 hours at library.
-No internet
-Arguements with mum
-Annoying Little Brother (Temi)
Yup... Life is S*it...
-
Just because you have rights doesn't mean you have to use them all the time. Watching TV and surfing at the same time won't give you the same amount of fun as doing each of these one at a time. At least respect your mom's opinion. You already have the luxuries 95% of the world's population wanted to have. Waiting for a day to get those rights back should be bearable.
If you think life is crap, you're very, very wrong. Be happy you're able to surf the net while there are kids in China working overtime just to buy a piece of stale bread for their families of 10. Be happy you're able to watch TV while there are other kids who lost those priveleges not by disobiedience, but because their homes got destroyed due to natural disasters.
Think about it for a while.
-
Well, I got my phone back... I don't even know why I am posting that crap...
-
welcome to my world. My dad ditched my mom right when I was born, and had two other girls with someone else. I know I'm supposed to "respect" them, but my dad is a female dog.
Woah... I thought my position was bad with my parents splitting up 2 weeks ago but I have no idea how you must feel. I'm sorry Sparkey.
you beleive him?
-
Well Jonzu I guess it`s ok to post it. I think it`s alway good to have a valve.
Good post Pwn!
-
Umm... Yeah... I had another arguement yesterday. I was surfing on GTM with my phone. And I was watching a movie too... Then my mum came, took my phone and said that, ''When you watch TV and you surf on the net with your phone, I will take this phone and you will get it on the morning.'' I was pissed... Then my mum went to shower and I started to find my phone. I found it under some clothes. I quickly read the Forums and put the phone on the clothes. (I forgot to put it under the clothes) When she came back from the Shower, She checked my phone (which was ON the clothes) and came to my room and said, ''Why the phone is on the clothes?'' I said, ''because I checked it, was it loading'' Then my mum said. ''Ok, You will get this after the school'' I was soo pissed...
You were very much in the wrong. Your mum set some limits and you deliberately went out of your way to break them. That shows a clear disrespect for her. An apology would be appropriate.
-
Umm... Yeah... I had another arguement yesterday. I was surfing on GTM with my phone. And I was watching a movie too... Then my mum came
Now what kind of movie were you watching exactly?
-
another great post brought to you by Pwnator ;)
sorry Jonzu but it does appear your.. whats a good metaphor.... "throwing fuel into the fire?"
apologizing to her after you argue (or better yet take steps to prevent it in the beginning) will go down 10 million times better then intentionally breaking rules your mum has set.
dont go out of your way to make living arrangements a hostile environment.... you should be very thankful for what you have and what your parents provide.... such as cooked meals each day, electricity, water supply, clothing, roof over your head, etc
internet, television, phones, etc should be considered a luxury, not a right ;)