MassimoV's Short Story Thread

[MassimoV]

Sylandro was in his backyard playing Jarts with his pet squid named Clyde the Destroyer when something caught his eye. A hole had been dug next to the hockey rink by his garage so he went to go check it out. A mole came out at start yelling at him. The mole took out a gun and grabbed his leg and pulled him underground to a full sized city inabbited by moles. He leaned against a lamp post and fell through it to discover the entire city was made out of jellybeans and ecstasy. The mole took Sylandro to the leader mole. When they got there he was greated by Malcolm X, but he had no face. Malcolm told Sylandro that he planned to kill everyone on the surface world who didn't have a last name comprised of one level and he was going to have Sylandro be the General of the army. Sylandro didn't want this so he challenged Malcom to a rap battle. Malcom spat fire so fast that his face de-melted and came back onto his head. Sylandro knew he couldn't beat that so he just licked Malcom's neck. Malcom was creeped out so he surrendered. Sylandro took 13 bag fulls of the jellybeans and ecstasy back to the surface. He sold all the ecstasy to make a fortune through the mob which connected straight back to the Italian government since 1996. He ate all the jellybeans and died of diabetes on a hijacked airplane.

[Badnik96]

And that was how the world was saved from... the mole people.

But in all seriousness I love these. Make moar please

Badnik to major amounts of PCP and he needed detox so his parents handcuffed him to his bed. But he broke free and ran down the stairs with a knife and cut their heads off and put them in the oven with some onions and terriaki sauce. Then his brother walked in while this was happening so Badnik pulled out his glock and pump 82 rounds in him before he stole the keys to his parent's car and drove straight to Vegas. Once there, he bought more PCP and did it right there in a casino. In public. Then he punched holes through the sslot machines and stole all the money. He did this 8 more times. He sprinted out of the casino and stole a bugatti and flew down the streets of Vegas with the police on his tail. He drove off into the hot desert and made camp at the Hoover dam for the next 8 months. The FBI were detemined to find him so they sent spies into the Hoover dam. But Badnik ran through the air duck and swam out into the lake behind the dam. He then hitch hiked a ride with a Manson Family member out toHollywood where he met Al Paccino. Al loved him and gave him the lead role in a major movie called Son of Kangaroo Samuari Jack. The movie bombed and the masses wanted Badnik's head so he stole a paddle boat and made his way to Tokyo where the strange culture let the movie survive. He and Gropaga now sell illegal kimchi on the black market to overage circus clowns.

Scrap was bumpin down the street in his flame painted low rider listening to some gangsta rap when he suddenly got a call from one of his homies who lived in West Jersey. So he cruised on over there but when he got to his house, there were a bunch of FBI trucks lining the street. He knew that the crimes of ilegal music downloads had brought the thug lyfe down on him too hard. There was only one thing he could do. He drove back into the center of Jersey and found the biggest graveyard in the city. He located the grave labeled Christopher Wallace. He then sprinkled garlic and weed all over the grave while singing Flava In Ya Ear backwards. Once it was done, the ghost of Biggie Smallz. Biggie knew what needed to be done so they got in the car and rolled out. They headed to the house filled with the FBI cars. They started assassinating every agent on the way to the house. they reached the door, and went in. But when they got in, Suge Knight sat evilly infront of a fireplace. Biggie became enraged and shot at Suge in the face. Scrap came pulled out a flamethower which incinerated Suge. Biggie vaporized away because the deed had been done. Scrap kneew he need to escape the law once and for good. He went to the local Papa Johns and rented a zamboni which he proceeded to drive striaght to Belieze where the use of cameras and microphones had been banned in 1998 for war crimes. He's still a playa and works as an internet pirate and a real pirate in Somalia every July.

[MassimoV]

Give me a badass member besides Scrap.

[Badnik96]

Kill

[MassimoV]

I'll work on it later.

[MassimoV]

Kill drove along the deep wooded forest durring the winter solstice. He could barely see so he used his echolocation to drive into the dense potato tree forest. He knew he had reached his destination. He approached a large sillo that was painted to look like the challenger rocket ship. Kill pushed the door open and a cold gale hit him in the face like a twinking with a halo storm in it.He ran through the door, straight into Greenland. He looked straight down and took a chainsaw out of his back pocket. he cut a whole in the ice below him. Then, he fell into the world's best night club. He made 87 dollars playing pool and darts. He went over to the bar and bought a kool aid and everclear. A beautiful fine southern broad came over and sat beside him. He looked up casualy and the bar tender through her a beer. They both pounded down the drinks and went to the back of the dance floor by a platinium couch and sat down. The woman rubbed Kill's inner thigh and start whispering dirty thoughts in his ear. Kill leaned back but as he was putting his arm back, he knocked her crotch. Something was wrong, it felt like a plastic bag filled with roast beef. The woman reached to the back of her head and pulled off a mask. The woman was actually Enigma. Enigma was hella horny and lunged at Kill. Kill was horified, mostly cause he wasted money on buying Enigma a beer. Kill took out his chainsaw and cut Enigma apart. He threw the body and the parts in the middle of the dance floor which were immediately eaten by super sexy aliens in the club. Kill decided he need to get home to his echidna farm. So, he took out a jetpack and flew all the way back to Saskatchewan to live the thug lyfe and plan out Lil Wayne's assassination with his partner Jerry Seinfeld.

[Kossokei]

ACAMS, Trov and (someone had to do it) Naryar

[MassimoV]

Will do Naryar next.

[Mr. AS]

Kill took out his chainsaw and cut Enigma apart. He threw the body and the parts in the middle of the dance floor which were immediately eaten by super sexy aliens in the club.

so thats why enigma hasnt been online since february

[MassimoV]

Blame Kill's backpocet chainsaw.

[Naryar]

kill has echolocation **** yes

[Badnik96]

so

much

yes

[Sylandro]

Sylandro was in his backyard playing Jarts with his pet squid named Clyde the Destroyer when something caught his eye. A hole had been dug next to the hockey rink by his garage so he went to go check it out. A mole came out at start yelling at him. The mole took out a gun and grabbed his leg and pulled him underground to a full sized city inabbited by moles. He leaned against a lamp post and fell through it to discover the entire city was made out of jellybeans and ecstasy. The mole took Sylandro to the leader mole. When they got there he was greated by Malcolm X, but he had no face. Malcolm told Sylandro that he planned to kill everyone on the surface world who didn't have a last name comprised of one level and he was going to have Sylandro be the General of the army. Sylandro didn't want this so he challenged Malcom to a rap battle. Malcom spat fire so fast that his face de-melted and came back onto his head. Sylandro knew he couldn't beat that so he just licked Malcom's neck. Malcom was creeped out so he surrendered. Sylandro took 13 bag fulls of the jellybeans and ecstasy back to the surface. He sold all the ecstasy to make a fortune through the mob which connected straight back to the Italian government since 1996. He ate all the jellybeans and died of diabetes on a hijacked airplane.

Well there goes my sides! I'm laughing my ass off in IRL.
EDIT: You should do Thyrus or Kid_Krusher13.

[MassimoV]

Naryar woke up quick on a brilliant Easter Sunday. But Naryar worshiped a large plank of wood in the Caspian Sea so he didn't really care. He made some FRENCH toast croissants and sat down to eat. Just as he was about to eat, he heard something from his pink-colored foyer. The grate over the air conditioner was shaking. Suddenly, the gate exploded and hundreds of monkeys filled Naryar's house. They started tearing his house and also his antique vases apart. Unfortuanetly, he was French, so he surrendered. He ran outside, grew huge eagle wings, and flew to his top-secret head quarters located just south in Andorra. He went in a small hole in the side of a mountain and he was in The Naryar Laboratories. He greated his little ginger friend Dexter who left to go buy some towels for the torture chamber. Naryar looked down and realized that his arms were gone. So he went over to the workbench and grafted an uzi to his right arm and a shot gun to his left. He thought that his legs looked weak though. So he took a pizza cutter and slized them both off and used both guns to stitch a hoverpad where his legs were once. He then welded 834 spikes to a bullet proof vest and put it on. He then welded it to his torso so it wouldn't fall off because inconvenience was a Frenchman's third worst enemy, only to a German and saying Sacre Bleu. He thought hios eyes looked vunerable so he hooked up 2 flamethowers to his ear ducts, put a propane tank in his stomach and a chip in his brain to turn the flames on and off. He then put on an aluminum foil deflector beanie for obvious French reasons. Lastly he installed a radio into his back. He tolde Dexter to turn the heat off when he left, cause that stuffs expensive., and he flew off back to the monkey house. Once he arrived, he kicked down the door while playing Archie Eversole's Ready*. "No one ****s with Naryar." He then destroyed every last monkey and made a long pimp jacket out of the fur. He storred the meat in his personal meat locker. He then built a couple works bombs and threw them down the air conditioning vent to destroy any other monkeys. He then got hirred at a local elementary school and taught 2nd grade, still as a cyborg. Durring the summers he sold tickets to see Charlemagne's Tomb.

*http://youtu.be/ElFDlShmOng?t=1m10s

[Badnik96]

bahaha what

were the monkeys cheese-eating surrender monkeys?

[MassimoV]

No, just German.

[Badnik96]

Aww. Did you get the reference at least? That thread might have died out before you joined...

[MassimoV]

Yeah I dunno what your talking about.

[Badnik96]

Pretty sure the "5 word story" thread died when the Playground was deleted, but it was dead long before that. Part of the story was Naryar turning into a monkey or something and he was called a cheese eating surrender monkey.

[MassimoV]

I remember that thread but never read or participated in it.