Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)

[NFX]

Yay, congratulations for everyone on the site called Alex for finding everyone else on the site called Alex.

Are there any other Nicks on the forum beside myself? =D

[G.K.]

No.

[Zog]

On topic, nao?

[Somebody]

I was in a Mcdonalds and someone asked what came with a value meal.

So I said...

McN00b XD

[freeziez]

*Eats Burrito*

Thanks. Now, who's for Snocones?
http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/snocones1.jpg

Me!

NOMNOMNOM

[Philippa]

This sounds like the perfect place for my collected Malcomisms. All direct quotes from my good friend Malcom Ross.

General Malconisms

You are a lemming with steroids up your buttcrack and I am a sadistic panda that I cant control.
FALCON...                                                     ...PUNCH!
I am the Grim Reaper and I will steal your soul.
What do you mean he's sensible and mature? He wants a model plane to blow up his school shoes!
Your eyes are a beautiful shade of grey.

Register Malconisms

I may or not be here.
Hmm, who what when where??? Oh, here.
I would like to say not here but I found a flaw in that.

To a teacher Malconisms

It's pretty easy to tell when someone is texting in class cos people don't generally smile at their crotch.
"The curtains were blue." What you will say as an English teacher is it expresses his sadness and depression. On the other hand there's what the author meant - the curtains were effing blue!

There are more somewhere in the catacombs of my mind but I have forgotten them.

[HurricaneAndrew]

"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot." -Myself

"Relevance is irrelevant." -A former teacher of mine

[powerrave]

Friend of mine once: "If I spread my arms out far enough, they are wings. But it costs a lot of effort so I'm not going to do that."

[TeamXtreemer]

'If you shove enough marbles up your a**e you become a wizard, fill me up'

[Badnik96]

"use your balls!" (someone in gym said this during a game)

"CACTUS ORGASM" (Wafflez said this when we were in a desert in Minecraft and there were so many friggin cactuses"

"Irrelephant" (what someone would say instead of "irrelevant")

"interdimensional..... Crap." (we were doing some stupid stuff and he forgot what he was gonna say. then I said "INTERDIMENSIONAL CRAP" and we cracked up.)

[Squirrel_Monkey]

Picnic Attack: "Don't worry, we can do it without the Mexicans!"

[Philippa]

'If you shove enough marbles up your a**e you become a wizard, fill me up'

I found goblin porn!

[SKBT]

Location: bathroom at my school

Person in bathroom: AWWW sh**!!!

Me: Yes, that's normally what you do in a bathroom...

[Chaosmancer]

I can give or take

[Philippa]

You are Satan's Unicorn Minion!

[Chaosmancer]

Me: You know how I find it quite fun to turn things that end in -ism into religions
Mum: Yeah
Me: Well, it gives a whole new meaning to sexism, and it reverses the meaning of racism. And the person who is a part of racism and sexism is a rather lucky person
Mum: The person who is a part of both probably has several very nasty venereal diseases.
Me: Gotta catch 'em all!

[Doomkiller]

*maths teacher explaing ratios*
So, whatever you have, *friends name* will always be bigger.
*pause*
me and friend: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA