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Messages - J

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1
Depends on the fluid. Are we talking water, motor oil, hydrogen peroxide, hydrochloric acid, or molten steel?
Even then, it depends. Is it salt water, fresh water, tap water, distilled water, fresh motor oil, used motor oil, etc... It also depends on quality too
What if it’s melted chocolate?

2
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: Regarding Shrek
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:53:09 AM »
Authors note: Why did this even exist in the first place

3
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: Please prove me right.
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:52:07 AM »
Hey look at that, the better poll answer is losing by 1 vote- just like every BOTM

4
Off-Topic Discussion / Regarding Shrek
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:36:15 AM »
Dear GTM,

This may the be the strangest message you'll ever receive but I do hope you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say. To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your porn artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented ogre art as gifts) draw some Dreamwork's character other than Shrek for you.

The reason I ask this is that Shrek is my husbando, and we're planning on getting married next February should everything go as planned financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding swamp that will let me marry my beloved ogre. Now before you go thinking “This guy is either wanting to please Shrek or just a fa66ot." please hear me out on this.

You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Shrek. I have been for about 420 days now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my brogre. By that I mean I don't date anyone else, I don't sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the hero I adore. I will spread my ass for him and I'm 100% committed to letting him fill my butt with his love. To express my love in a real tangible way I have a beautiful hand made shrine for Shrek that I pray to every night, thanking him for my existence, and I openly spread the good word of Shrek to everyone around me. I take him out to eat at royal palaces, we go scaring locals together, we do social activities together like hanging out with fairy tale friends, yelling at donkey, etc.

And I talk about him as if he is Shrek, because to me he very much is. When I look at him I see Shrek. When I talk with him I'm talking to Shrek. When I let him hold me with his powerful ogre arms and let me suck his d1ck there are no doubts in my mind that it's the ogre I love who's big green c0ck is pressed against my face. And every morning when I open my eyes and see his big green face on the pillow next to mine, with his gorgeous green eyes staring back at me, I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a lover as charming, heroic, beautiful, and all around an absolute unit

All my friends and the people who know me well say that my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable, but from the outside perspective of someone who doesn't know me you're probably going “Wow. what a fa66ot." and wondering why I don't just go be a simp like my fellow redditors. The truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 29 years I've been around. A few short relationships, one that lasted 2 years, and a total of 6 different sexual fairy tale partners. So my love for Shrek isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships, I just fell in love with him and my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I'm totally happy with my love and my relationship. It may seem gay as fu(k to you, but it fills my butt with love every single day of my life and I've never been happier. So what if it makes me gay? If it makes me happy and it doesn't hurt anyone then where's the problem? I don't think there is one, and anyone who knows me well will tell you the same.

Now your probably wondering why I'm telling you all this and how it concerns you. To you I'm sure Shrek is just a cartoon character you think is really hot, so I imagine you wouldn't think anything of having your friends draw sexually explicit art of him as birthday gifts for you. And hey, I think he's really attractive too so I get where you're coming from there. I often go on e621.net and Rule34.Paheal to see what new erotic art people have drawn of him. But to me he's more than a cartoon character who's sexually attractive, he's my husbando who I love with all my heart and soon to be my loving soul mate. So it's been bothering me lately every time I go on those sites and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my big daddy in various sexual situations with the same person over and over, and that person happens to be you.

Don't get me wrong here though, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Shrek is just as faithful to me as I am to him, he's actually sitting on the couch next to me yelling at Donkey while I type this. He's very real to me and I know he's not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go fly into other people's windows to stick his di(k in there butts. And I do respect your karma as a redditor and a redditor's creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that's cool. What bothers me is that in all these birthday images you've been getting Shrek is always depicted as if he was your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a collar with your name on it or with a speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest he was your property. And I know quite well that Shrek is not your plaything nor your property, he's my lover. So that bugs me a bit. What I find really loathsome though is your pension for degrading my precious ogre in both your art and the fan art you've been receiving lately. Shrek is a warm and loving father figure who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and he definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of forum troll who likes harassing kids on club penguin, playing fortnite, opening mystery eggs on youtube, and having his minecraft server shut down. He's not into that kinda stuff and the fact that there's someone out there in the world such as yourself who would desire to treat Shrek that way, and have his friends support and validate his desires to demean and mistreat my king by drawing pictures of him doing so, really does bother me. I don't take any issue with people picking on redditors as long as both parties are having fun and enjoy it, but I know quite well that my Shrek has no desire whatsoever to be treated like that.

So next year, when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Shrek isn't just a three dimensional CGI character from a DVD for you to bully. He's the partner of someone who loves him very much, and by that time their husband. So both myself and Shrek would greatly appreciate it if you'd pick some other dreamworks character to request erotic art of for your birthday. Based on the very large amount of different characters they have, of I imagine there has to be many other creatures you find sexually attractive. I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by some chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well... we'd appreciate it.

5
Site News and Feedback / Petition to let us set gender as "Fluid".
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:35:32 AM »
Come on, whos with me?

6
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: June 02, 2020, 11:07:28 PM »
It’s not just you.

7
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: June 01, 2020, 01:30:14 AM »
I suppose, there really are people out there that I need to make amends with, and actually try again to rectify some of these things; some of said people even being members of this site. For what it’s worth, my issues only stem from the fact I’m just inherently bad at interactions if you want to be real about it, and was just always trying too hard to please people from my past to which would just end up with them breaking my heart(not romantically) over petty things, and would result in my trust issues over excessive exposer to people of a similar nature. I don’t know how understandable that is to you guys, but what I’m saying is I would like to try and better myself- and by extension apologize for stupid sh** I’ve done to get banned from the discord and/or look bad among everyone else here/upset anyone.

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Off-Topic Discussion / Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: May 27, 2020, 11:32:45 PM »
Honestly I have tried to work it out with some of the people I’m having issues with- I just can’t seem to get over stupid sh** that was said over both parties and what resulted in some of these broken friendships in the first place. It just always seems to make it more awkward and harder to talk to eachother.

Especially topics like this- I’m sorry for being such a ****ing drama queen.

9
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: May 25, 2020, 12:52:11 AM »
Be forgiving of what you think is forgivable, but stand by your values when that person broke something that is deeply important to you. Forgiveness is useful, but don't make it an all-ends ideal.
But any friendship that’s been destroyed over petty sh**(or any reason for that matter) can’t ever be repaired, nor can it ever be forgiven. Things can’t just go back to how they were before you opened Pandora’s box. You can’t just pretend X didn’t happen when it’s what broke you apart, because the notion of such a thing will always be there eating away at you and any former friend(s) because you’ll always be reminded of it. It just doesn’t work that way.

10
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: Political Compass Thread
« on: May 25, 2020, 12:30:50 AM »
Hey guys I took that test you mentioned in the OP, and-

11
Off-Topic Discussion / GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: March 27, 2020, 11:12:39 PM »
Assistance*

Feel free to take that title out of context, tldr the thread, and subsequently reply with trash- probs deserve it for my antics anyway.

Look, I need your help.
I need- no- I want to know how to stop giving a ****. Or to just stop caring in general. My entire well being is riddled with heartbreak, betrayals, constant two-faced assholes, and an excessive amount of toxicity. Legit surprised I havent died from all of that cancer. It doesnt matter that groups of people I've known for like 8 years only ever wanted me to be some one-dimensional performing monkey- it doesnt matter that someone I was close to for 10 years just up and tells me all that of that was empty/for nothing/never wants to see me again- doesn't matter that numerous people around me are so quick to judge and will only ever keep negative notions of me in mind and wont ever let me make up for it- it doesnt matter that I've had nervous breakdowns over this sh**- It just doesn't ****ing matter- I'll just keep letting bygones be bygones and straight-up giving the next person(and so on) the benefit of the doubt even if they will just prove to be no different from the other tumors I've had in my life.
Why am I so forgiving to everyone around me, yet all they do is just tear me down and make me feel like sh**?

Please, GTM, teach me how to stop giving a ****

12
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: Happy new year from the fat croatman
« on: December 31, 2019, 09:45:12 PM »
Despite how much of a fuking mess I am- you guys are no real peach either- despite it all, I’m still glad for the time I’ve been with you guys.

13
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: You guys wanted to talk to me, so- AMA time!
« on: December 30, 2019, 10:25:08 PM »
 [ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
heck

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Off-Topic Discussion / You guys wanted to talk to me, so- AMA time!
« on: December 30, 2019, 10:17:12 PM »
I mean, this is better then Discord, m I rite? :^)

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Off-Topic Discussion / Re: real facts
« on: December 04, 2019, 10:42:17 PM »
Real facts
Easily baited

17
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: RA2 Awards 2019
« on: December 04, 2019, 10:41:18 PM »
CRINGIEST MEMEBER AWARD
xdddddddd

18
Tournament Archives / 300 IQ Redditor
« on: December 04, 2019, 10:38:37 PM »

19
Off-Topic Discussion / Calling out toxic J
« on: October 24, 2019, 10:19:41 PM »
For fuks sake, Jay. Just leave this site already.
Nobody likes you. Not even your actual friends, let alone parents do.
Honestly just fuking off yourself- nobody will miss you.
You havent built any bots since 2008 and you dare call yourself a fan of this sh**?
And why do you still post here? You said you left, so just ****ing do it already.
Whats with your signature? You kinkshame everyone to hell and back and then throw some cringy garbage like that in your sig?
Whats wrong with you. BESIDES EVERYTHING.
Like, what the fuk are you even fuking doing here you little biich?
I'll have you know I have over 500 karma on reddit and became the top youtuber on p0rnhub.
I am an expert sh**poster unlike you, J, you fukin pleb. as we speak i am contacting my fellow bruhs in the deep interwebs to h4x ur computer u fukin nub. i can ip trak ur ass and fukin rekt u u fukn skrub. your fukin dead kiddo.
and stop telling people to play raidio free shadow the hedgehog- nobody in there right fuking mind will play that game after how much you shove it in people's faces.
Maybe you should shove a diik in your face for once instead of some normie tier app game that nobody wants to play.
We dont care that you can use the code urmomisafagit to get 5 free gold- pretty sure you need like 20 gold to to upgrade your soup ladle to a fukin spork.
or whatever you have in that game.
go play club penguin or some sh**, J. Hang out with the other toddlers on your cringy tumblr or whatever.
just get out of our lives arleady.

fuk....

20
Off-Topic Discussion / Re: Calling out toxic 090901
« on: October 24, 2019, 10:13:44 PM »
OP you need at least 3 minutes worth of text, or something equally as ****ing obnoxious to really chew the scener- i mean- guarntee that ad rev from those adverts. And make sure you sponsor Patreon, Dola shaev kkklub, your other patreon, squarespace, and that other patreon, and maybe that patreon you talked about-

So your 10 minute video about new Smash DLC is roughly 9 minutes and 30 seconds of just adverts.

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