Long Overdue Explanation

[yugitom]

So, I've got explaining to do and I'm not really sure where to start.

I suppose I'll start with my depleting commitment to GTMCS, albeit being my creation. When I first proposed the thing, I was very enthusiastic about the idea. The fact that it got so much support and then, later, a very high turnout made me rather happy. However, somewhere down the line, I began to have issues with certain parts of the tourney. After problems kept cropping up, my willingness to come back to it dwindled. Not only that, but my willingness to communicate, respond and interact with the community dwindled, too. I'm not saying that this was all GTMCS's fault because, considering I'm actually in this situation, it was going to happen at some point, anyway. After GTMCS started clashing with RL stuff, whenever I'd decide to come back to solving stuff out for GTMCS, it was also met with some people being a tad impatient with the progress. Although I suppose I understand that they simply want this big thing to be a success and they just can't wait for more videos, to badger and poke someone is not the way to go. If anything, it makes them want to stop. It's easy to attribute wanting to get back into the swing of things to the badgering that you're receiving, so most people end up putting it away for another day so they can possibly work in peace the next. It's never that easy, tho. I know two certain individuals (who are, coincidentally, on GTM) that have experienced this first-hand, although not with anything GTM related (if you're rather clever, you may know who and what I am talking about.) I used to poke them every now and again to see how they were doing. I thought it was harmless because I left a lot of space of time between my pokes but, after experiencing GTMCS, I now know that alone can distance someone further from the thing you are trying to encourage them to do.

Hopefully, I'm making some sort of sense. I'm not sure if my words are resonating what I'm trying to say properly but, hopefully, you guys are getting the picture.

Now, this is the bit where I'm meant to say that I have no ill will towards anyone here but I can't lie just to be humble. I won't name individuals but I'm not entirely fond of certain members of this community. I've fallen out of love with the community because I sometimes wonder who I'm doing this for. Let me qualify what I said, tho. There are definitely some outstanding and great members on GTM (Craaig, Rob and Thrackerzod, just to name a few). If you've ever spoken to me, you probably already know if you're in that list :P.  In fact, there may be more people I like on GTM than I dislike. However, there just don't seem to be enough people that I like to drown out the ones I don't. Until GTM's ugly side can be overpoweringly outshone by the great side, I'm probably not going to do much conversing in the GTM Discord, or GTM in general, anymore.

And I may have just simply fallen out of love with RA2/GTM. It's an incredible shame for me to say that, considering I've persevered for this to become a long-term thing for me but I can't help what I like and don't like.

It's not fair on anyone if I stay as the Tournament section moderator (or the main one, at least.) And it's for all these reasons that I have handed in a 'sort of' resignation to Trov. That me qualify 'sort of', too. GTM needs an active Tournament section moderator, that I cannot be. However, I believe that, if I leave the front line, I could actually end up becoming more productive (the reason being the one I mentioned previously). I could also lend my thoughts and ideas directly to the new mod and the staff, if they were ever needed. I may not be as devoted as I was when I first took the post as moderator, however I still would love to work directly with a tournament section moderator to, at first, make sure they're on the right path and to make sure any creative ideas they have go smoothly. Although, I absolutely understand if Trov decides there is no more need for my services as a moderator and I need to make a full resignation. I will be content with either outcome. It's been incredibly fun working and communicating with the GTM staff. In fact, if there's anything I want you to take from this is to understand that all staff actions are very thorough, so don't constantly poke them, either. Although, I wouldn't mind a tad more transparency between the staff room and the main forum :P I have one person in mind that I believe is perfect for the role of tourney mod but I will not mention their name nor will I contact them about my intentions to throw their name in the hat until I receive a response from Trov.

Oh yeah, I will relinquish full main host duties of GTMCS to RedAce following writing this up.

Until a new moderator is promoted, I will try to continue moderating duties as I am meant to (thanks a lot for picking up the slack, btw, Craaig).

There is one project that, sadly, may not get worked on (that isn't GTMCS) now and that's Robot Wars Extreme 3 DSL. That may not be of the utmost importance to you guys but I will seek out anyone that may want to take it over. If no-one takes it, I'll simply release the AI pack and lock the thread.

I think that's all I have to say. This isn't a goodbye, btw, but you can probably tell that I will never be as active as I used to be anymore... or who knows? Maybe the spark will light again, after a year or two. In the meantime, I do wish the entirety of GTM the best of luck with keeping itself running and staying alive. I'm trusting that, when that spark does light again, I'll have a vitalised community to give to.

Thanks for two great years :)

[Probably Rob]

I'm sorry that things turned out to suddenly ruin your long running experience here, Yugi

You've been a fantastic moderator for the tournament section, and you were definitely to me, deserving of high recognition. You're a great guy, and are deserving of a future HoF nomination  <3

Shame, since I just opened Rock 'em after offering to box ya on Boxing Day!


Good luck in your future endeavours, and hope to see you around, sir

[Mecha]

*insert "see ya in a few days" meme here* 

But seriously, I'm sorry you no longer enjoy being on gtm. You're a great guy and you're good at what you do, You've accomplished more in 2 years then I have in nearly 6. It's been nice having you around.
GL in your future endeavours. (like rob said)

[Mr. AS]

Fairly sure I prodded you a few times on the discord to get GTMC rolling, hope you didn't take any of it the wrong way and/or put me on your sh**-list.

Oh yeah, I will relinquish full main host duties of GTMCS to RedAce following writing this up.

Just an FYI though, Thrackerzod's been going through and steamrolling through the tourney for you.

[frezal]

Do what you gotta do!

[Badnik96]

glad to see you got this off your chest dude, i do agree with you on the whole "ugly side" thing

also i think i know who you're talking about when it comes to poking people c;

[Thyrus]

I think we will stay in touch even if you're leaving. Love you  <3 

[ty4er]

it was the jam that done this wunnit

it's surprising how much a little forum about a 14 year old game can affect people tbh. sad to see you going man, hope everything's all swell in future! you'll be welcome back anytime xo

[Jammy Dodger]

Sad to see you go but its like a happy goodbye tbh and your welcome here anytime even when things have moved on :3

[Thrackerzod]

Do what you gotta do, dude.  It's been fun.  I'll see you around.

Oh yeah, I will relinquish full main host duties of GTMCS to RedAce following writing this up.

I kinda already took them...

[Silverfish]

Man, sorry you had such a hard time with this thing. Being someone who understands losing interest in a game (I generally go through interest in several games over a year) I think I may (please?) be able to say it'll eventually come back. Thanks for being such a good moderator!

[yugitom]

Thank you all for the kind words. I think you misunderstood something, tho.

*insert "see ya in a few days" meme here* 

Well, that's the thing, as I mention in the OP, this isn't goodbye completely. I'm just saying that I won't be as active as I once was and I definitely can't be on the front line of moderating duties. Hopefully, I can still give to the community in some form or the other.

Fairly sure I prodded you a few times on the discord to get GTMC rolling, hope you didn't take any of it the wrong way and/or put me on your sh**-list.

I don't really want to confirm or deny anything but with your contribution towards GTMCS, I think you already know what I think about you :D

Oh yeah, I will relinquish full main host duties of GTMCS to RedAce following writing this up.

I kinda already took them...

Oh, fair enough, then :P Thank you for doing a great job in my absence.

I think we will stay in touch even if you're leaving. Love you  <3 

Of course :D Love ya, too <3

glad to see you got this off your chest dude, i do agree with you on the whole "ugly side" thing

also i think i know who you're talking about when it comes to poking people c;

I think you know, too :P If there's anyone who'd get it almost straight away, you'd be one of the them.

[Meganerdbomb]

People were poking you because you weren't doing your job. I'm sorry, but ,"it started to get hard and I lost interest" is a piss poor excuse, even though it's one I can sympathize with to a great extent. At the end of the day, you hyped up a major project, an "Official GTM Tournament" then utterly failed to deliver, and if it wasn't for Thrackerzod stepping up, this whole thing would be dead in the water. I think that's plenty of reason for people to get on you about not fulfilling your obligations to the community, whatever the reason.

[yugitom]

I hope what I was saying wasn't implying that I felt there was no justification behind people's actions. I don't blame anyone but myself for what happened, trust me.

[kix]

Do not worry.. Hosting a major tournament is a big and pressuring thing... so what if you forfieted hosting it!!

[Badger]

Does this mean yugi gets a 9 month ban from hosting tournaments

[Reier]

Do not worry.. Hosting a major tournament is a big and pressuring thing... so what if you forfieted hosting it!!

because its bad form to have people rely on you and let them down tgm?

having 3 metas in one tourney is too much for a single person imo. next time I would suggest if having multiple metas have one person responsible for each
who says the guy who AIs has to be the one to film and the filmer has to be the one to edit, you can divvy up the responsibilities you know

[kix]

True.. 3 metagames is too much.. I would explode!

[Thrackerzod]

Do not worry.. Hosting a major tournament is a big and pressuring thing... so what if you forfieted hosting it!!

having 3 metas in one tourney is too much for a single person imo. next time I would suggest if having multiple metas have one person responsible for each
who says the guy who AIs has to be the one to film and the filmer has to be the one to edit, you can divvy up the responsibilities you know

From experience, it's actually not so bad if I can do one meta at a time.  The way the tournament was/is set up with all 3 going up at the same time, that's too much.  That's (one of the reasons) why I've put Retooled aside until the other brackets are done.

Plus I'm looking to start my own tournament as well because I hate myself or something idk

[kix]

++ You cant really host Retooled as one bot isn't working!