Author Topic: GTM, I request your ass is tance  (Read 1665 times)

Offline J

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GTM, I request your ass is tance
« on: March 27, 2020, 11:12:39 PM »
Assistance*

Feel free to take that title out of context, tldr the thread, and subsequently reply with trash- probs deserve it for my antics anyway.

Look, I need your help.
I need- no- I want to know how to stop giving a ****. Or to just stop caring in general. My entire well being is riddled with heartbreak, betrayals, constant two-faced assholes, and an excessive amount of toxicity. Legit surprised I havent died from all of that cancer. It doesnt matter that groups of people I've known for like 8 years only ever wanted me to be some one-dimensional performing monkey- it doesnt matter that someone I was close to for 10 years just up and tells me all that of that was empty/for nothing/never wants to see me again- doesn't matter that numerous people around me are so quick to judge and will only ever keep negative notions of me in mind and wont ever let me make up for it- it doesnt matter that I've had nervous breakdowns over this sh**- It just doesn't ****ing matter- I'll just keep letting bygones be bygones and straight-up giving the next person(and so on) the benefit of the doubt even if they will just prove to be no different from the other tumors I've had in my life.
Why am I so forgiving to everyone around me, yet all they do is just tear me down and make me feel like sh**?

Please, GTM, teach me how to stop giving a ****

Offline Enigm@

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2020, 11:37:57 PM »
just bee urself
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Offline CodeSilver23

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2020, 02:05:21 PM »
Perspective is key to not giving a sh**.
Accomplishments:

Offline Jaydee99

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2020, 03:11:19 PM »
I hope you are okay

Offline Meganerdbomb

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2020, 11:33:36 PM »
I'm lowkey pretty worried about J.
im just waiting for meganerdbomb to come along and kick things into gear.

Offline Naryar

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2020, 12:03:30 PM »
You cannot bear the whole world's misery on yourself, that's just self-defeating. It is alright to be selfish, don't let the moralizers tell you otherwise.

If your friends are sh**ty, abandon that friend and move on. You will find some good ones.

Be forgiving of what you think is forgivable, but stand by your values when that person broke something that is deeply important to you. Forgiveness is useful, but don't make it an all-ends ideal.

Quote
I'll just keep letting bygones be bygones and straight-up giving the next person(and so on) the benefit of the doubt even if they will just prove to be no different from the other tumors I've had in my life.

Don't do that, please. It's clear you want true, valuable friendship - an admirable ideal - which doesn't mesh well with starting another friendship with so much negative emotional baggage from past broken ones.

Also, yeah, emotions are complicated to handle. I can relate (though I DO seem to have lower empathy), and I wish you some harmony.







Offline J

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2020, 12:52:11 AM »
Be forgiving of what you think is forgivable, but stand by your values when that person broke something that is deeply important to you. Forgiveness is useful, but don't make it an all-ends ideal.
But any friendship that’s been destroyed over petty sh**(or any reason for that matter) can’t ever be repaired, nor can it ever be forgiven. Things can’t just go back to how they were before you opened Pandora’s box. You can’t just pretend X didn’t happen when it’s what broke you apart, because the notion of such a thing will always be there eating away at you and any former friend(s) because you’ll always be reminded of it. It just doesn’t work that way.

Offline Reier

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2020, 02:32:58 AM »
But any friendship that’s been destroyed over petty sh**(or any reason for that matter) can’t ever be repaired, nor can it ever be forgiven.
that's not true.

Things can’t just go back to how they were before you opened Pandora’s box. You can’t just pretend X didn’t happen when it’s what broke you apart, because the notion of such a thing will always be there eating away at you and any former friend(s) because you’ll always be reminded of it. It just doesn’t work that way.
true forgiveness isn't pretending. it's not an emotion, it's a choice. its also a choice that you often need to make more than once. you may need to make it every day for years.
the only one hurt by you not forgiving them is you. you'll be a slave to them until you do. the only way to truly move beyond past pain with someone is to forgive them.

if you need to talk, shoot me a pm.
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Offline Naryar

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2020, 04:19:46 AM »
Be forgiving of what you think is forgivable, but stand by your values when that person broke something that is deeply important to you. Forgiveness is useful, but don't make it an all-ends ideal.
But any friendship that’s been destroyed over petty sh**(or any reason for that matter) can’t ever be repaired, nor can it ever be forgiven.

If it's *petty sh*** then one would think true friendship would not stay in the way, providing both sides are willing to sacrifice their pride.

Things can’t just go back to how they were before you opened Pandora’s box. You can’t just pretend X didn’t happen when it’s what broke you apart, because the notion of such a thing will always be there eating away at you and any former friend(s) because you’ll always be reminded of it.

On the contrary, time is the great eraser. Remember the big issues you had in your early youth ? You barely remember them now. Remember that this is your *current* viewpoint - it's colored by the suffering. Else we would be burdened by the memory of all our bad choices and all old people would be miserable.

Of course, you could remove suffering, but i'm not going to go on a buddhist tangent right now.

I will agree with some (but not all) of Reier's points.

I would say normally "just let it go", but I think this is not going to work and that it's obviously an important issue for ya. you need to reach some catharsis one way or another. maybe talking with the person in question and try to figure out what happened, at least an explanation ?

might work. might not work. but don't let the latter scare you. if it's troubling you that much, it needs to be solved, Reier said it better than I did.



Offline J

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2020, 11:32:45 PM »
Honestly I have tried to work it out with some of the people I’m having issues with- I just can’t seem to get over stupid sh** that was said over both parties and what resulted in some of these broken friendships in the first place. It just always seems to make it more awkward and harder to talk to eachother.

Especially topics like this- I’m sorry for being such a ****ing drama queen.

Offline SagarisRA2

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2020, 12:00:56 AM »
Honestly I have tried to work it out with some of the people I’m having issues with- I just can’t seem to get over stupid sh** that was said over both parties and what resulted in some of these broken friendships in the first place. It just always seems to make it more awkward and harder to talk to eachother.

Especially topics like this- I’m sorry for being such a ****ing drama queen.

No need to apologise at all. It's often better to vent and type about everything that's been building up as there are certainly unhealthier ways of coping with these kind of thoughts.

Friendships and relationships can be a ballache to maintain and consequently a lot of them end, whether it be to arguments or quite simply growing apart. The key is to finding the healthier friendships and sticking with them, the people who have always been by your side and not just when it suits them or when it's easy.

I know it can be hard to regain trust in people, especially after it's been betrayed in the past, but the key is remembering no two people on this planet are alike. You may have had toxic friendships, but they help you identify what a healthy friendship/relationship is in the future.

We all need a bad experience to help us identify a good one. You've had some bad ones, let the good ones stick by you.

Offline Jaydee99

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2020, 07:19:14 AM »
Honestly I have tried to work it out with some of the people I’m having issues with- I just can’t seem to get over stupid sh** that was said over both parties and what resulted in some of these broken friendships in the first place. It just always seems to make it more awkward and harder to talk to eachother.

Especially topics like this- I’m sorry for being such a ****ing drama queen.


Don't be, we all need to speak about what's troubling us at some point

Offline J

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2020, 01:30:14 AM »
I suppose, there really are people out there that I need to make amends with, and actually try again to rectify some of these things; some of said people even being members of this site. For what it’s worth, my issues only stem from the fact I’m just inherently bad at interactions if you want to be real about it, and was just always trying too hard to please people from my past to which would just end up with them breaking my heart(not romantically) over petty things, and would result in my trust issues over excessive exposer to people of a similar nature. I don’t know how understandable that is to you guys, but what I’m saying is I would like to try and better myself- and by extension apologize for stupid sh** I’ve done to get banned from the discord and/or look bad among everyone else here/upset anyone.

Offline Meganerdbomb

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2020, 11:27:44 PM »
I suppose, there really are people out there that I need to make amends with, and actually try again to rectify some of these things; some of said people even being members of this site. For what it’s worth, my issues only stem from the fact I’m just inherently bad at interactions if you want to be real about it, and was just always trying too hard to please people from my past to which would just end up with them breaking my heart(not romantically) over petty things, and would result in my trust issues over excessive exposer to people of a similar nature. I don’t know how understandable that is to you guys, but what I’m saying is I would like to try and better myself- and by extension apologize for stupid sh** I’ve done to get banned from the discord and/or look bad among everyone else here/upset anyone.
hey man, no worries.
im just waiting for meganerdbomb to come along and kick things into gear.

Offline J

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Re: GTM, I request your ass is tance
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2020, 11:07:28 PM »
It’s not just you.