Author Topic: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""  (Read 2769 times)

Offline J

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Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« on: March 05, 2018, 03:27:48 PM »

This is cringy af/probably making me want to hang myself/whatever
THIS ALSO GIVES ME A REASON TO CATCH UP ON OTHER SHOWS

(If I were motivated enough this would have been a youTube channel, but EHHHHH.....)

Stay tuned for more!
« Last Edit: May 29, 2018, 09:43:24 PM by J »

Offline J

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2018, 04:07:06 PM »


Local nerd cant bring her harem to upcoming ball
(EPIC PRANK)(GONE WRONG)
Watch the episode here

The premise of this episode is that the purple bitch gets sent a pair of tickets from the resident overlord for JUST her and ONE other friend- Ideally you'd think she would just take Spike along, despite his distaste for the Grand Galloping Gala, but at least you'd then be able to USE BOTH OF YOUR TICKETS and avoid this sh** in the first place.
(Honestly, Celestia is just a fukin' bitch- Then again I'm making the 1st episode of this sh** out of an outdated episode)

.....
So immediately the lesbian and the farmer pone find out about the Goofy Goober Ghetto and propose fair arguments about traveling to this sh** with Purple Pone, but along the way she ends up informing the pink fuker, a white racist, and the lamest character on the show- In no particular order- But unless we include everyone we will get pegged for showing favoritism- Look, why couldnt she just take Spike?
Speaking of which, I may as well list the """"reasons"""" why everyone else wants to go; I'll list all of them/show the ones I've approved

Farmer wants to eat the money she earns- Shes probs gona die; [✔]
Lesbian wants to fire nukes at other countries; [✔]
Pink is high as fuk, so who cares?; [X]
White racist is happy being the beta that she always is; [X] but her position.. [✔]
Lamest character hopes to open a zoo; her house is already this; maybe shes homeless; I dont give a fuk; [X]
....

And some musical number appears over how Purple cant make up her mind for the Garbage Gathering Garrage.
......
"""""Problem"""" to the episode is resolved at the end when Purple remembers she can just ask for tickets from the ticket god for yet more tickets to invite the rest of the cast of Fraggle Rock to this upcoming Grease N' Go.
Really, if she didnt do this from the beginning, despite how mindlessly easy it would have been, we wouldn't have this episode in the first place.

Jay's Episode Rating:
4/10
« Last Edit: May 06, 2018, 10:48:15 PM by J »

Offline Philippa

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Re: BLOG: sh**talk TV - Jay's Cartoon reviews(NOT CLICKBAIT)(GONE SEXUAL)
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2018, 04:20:51 PM »
I'll have what he's having.

Offline Fracture

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Re: BLOG: sh**talk TV - Jay's Cartoon reviews(NOT CLICKBAIT)(GONE SEXUAL)
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2018, 05:57:36 PM »
Japanese cartoons are cartoons too, right?

Offline Dreamcast

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Re: BLOG: sh**talk TV - Jay's Cartoon reviews(NOT CLICKBAIT)(GONE SEXUAL)
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2018, 07:15:12 PM »
Jay's Episode Rating:
4/10

harsh as fuq.

Offline J

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Re: Quality Queen
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2018, 11:48:25 PM »


FIGHTING POLYGON TEAM!
(No, seriously, this episode is fuking awesome)

The premise of this episode consists of KO and his friends doing usual work stuff and Dendy comes over for a visit-
She goes to try and "fix" that weirdly suggestive looking mop and KO just up and clicks on this fuking advert-

I mean look at it, it has that fuking 90's S on it!

So anyway...
this now infects Dendy's computer-backpack-whateverthefukthisis- this leads to everyone gradually becoming """""""infected""""" with this same virus that KO initially infects the mop with, since, you know, the mop in question just fuking explodes and spreads it's aids to everyone/everything/the reader/etc.
The gay skeleton gets infected first, and his lover touches him to contract the same virus- I feel like theres a Tumblr joke here.

Like, I'm a big fan of when a show changes it's art style in a drastic way, but HOLY FUK, they become bad 90s CGI models, complete with goofyass distortions, laggy movements, fuking clipping through walls, and a bunch of other vidyagaem stuff- That, or you could say they came from the Money for Nothing music video- both work. Or maybe it's just a bad GMod map. I don't really know or care to debate this.

This episode, anyway, plays like a zombie/virus/etc movie, in case it wasn't already apparent.

Oh, and they ultimately """"""reset""""" everything through some bullsh** that Dendy's backpack can do(Honestly Dendy is one of the best characters on this show)
And for an ending gag KO is still """""infected"""".

Jay's Episode Rating:
8/10
« Last Edit: May 06, 2018, 10:48:58 PM by J »

Offline J

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEE: post
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2018, 12:22:07 AM »


The meme episode ft. some dumbass cowgirl
Watch the episode here

No, seriously, this episode lead to a lot of good screencaps/I'll just lazily copy-paste more of this sh** from the wiki, because hot damn...



(Broke the no ponies out of the pony thread rule)

DONT ACT LIKE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT SOME OF THESE LEAD TO. YOU WERE THERE IN THIS SHOW'S HEYDAY

.....

Man, 2011 was a good year for ponies.

Lets just get on with the fukin show alright?
So much like Ticket Master, this is another episode that is fundamentally geared towards testing the patients of one of our main characters, and in this case we took the future background horse, dubbed, "Applejack", and see how fuked up she can get when she tries to prove that shes a better slave then her brother- Lets be real, they both pretty much are, since the apple business in and of itself is lackluster as fuk anyway.

As the episode progresses, we see this dumbass' lack of sleep that I can relate to take effect on her well being and those around her like how I am at 2-3AM and how it drives her to literally collapsing because MUH PRIED- AJ you dumb fuk, if you were any competent farm worker that you so heavily imply, you would have known full well that your family lives on a land that is grossly overpopulated in apple trees. Like, Applejack what are you doing? Bucking apples? You cant buck all these fuking apples- FUK YOU I CAN BUCK ALL THESE APPLES- Spoiler, she cant. Personally, I like to think of this episode as an allegory of the work force, and how it turns people into fuking zombies after going to your job all day, and you come home and just want to sleep- NOOOOOPE, ITS NEVER OVER, THE RIDE NEVER ENDS, YOU GET IN BED AND ITS THE NEXT DAY OF WORK FOR YOU I want to fuking die

The episode eventually leads to Twilight being the only character on the show to grow a fuking brain because shes sick of AJ sh** and legitimately gives a fuk about what shes doing- she basically forces everyone else to help with this chore, and then Twilight up and magics like all the damn trees at once. No, seriously-

Like, if you could do that from the get go, then whats the fuking point in inviting everyone else? I only didn't mention any of them because AJ's half asleep empty husk of a being was out fuking up some of the stuff they were doing, and it was easily forgettable/forgivable. But I guess them helping was an apology or or some kind of forgiveness act over AJ being an ignorant fuk? I don't know, you could easily make this episode be just about AJ and then shoehorn Twilight in at the last few minutes, and you really wouldn't miss anything.

Jay's Episode Rating:
2/10 for the story
6/10 for the memes; this episode has good sh** in it
8/10 total
« Last Edit: May 06, 2018, 10:48:45 PM by J »

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Re: BLOG: sh**talk TV - Jay's Cartoon reviews(NOT CLICKBAIT)(GONE SEXUAL)
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2018, 02:46:49 PM »
Good thing racist farmer hicks won't be a part of the next Gen
SHIIEEEEEET.png

Offline J

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Re: BLOG: sh**talk TV - Jay's Cartoon reviews(NOT CLICKBAIT)(GONE SEXUAL)
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2018, 10:37:11 PM »
Good thing racist farmer hicks won't be a part of the next-
NO
we DON'T talk about that.

Offline J

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Everybody hates trixie!
[INSERT LINK HERE THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL TURN INTO A PORNHUB LINK]
(petty revenge is cute, guys)

Skipped an episode or two.... woo.....

Honestly, what is there to even say about this episode? A fuking carnie rolls into town and is willingly wanting to put on shows for everyone free of charge. Like, sure, she labels herself as """great""" and """powerful""", but its like the norm for stage magicians to give themselves self-appointed titles. Hell, she even has her her own fanboys to help generate hype for her performance. So as she does her tricks and sh**, everyone else gets into a pissy fit over it. Why? Theres honestly no reason why. I mean, this episode's """""message"""" is about being humble or some sh** about what your talented in, or some panzy sh** like that- BUT TRIXIES TALENT IS LITERALLY PERFORMING sh** SHES COME UP WITH ON HER OWN, IN FRONT OF OTHERS, FOR SHEER ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES- this sounds familiar but no, we cant have that. Heaven forbid. They should hunt down this witch so we can burn her for these atrocities. Hell, even I would. I mean, Dash has been seen manipulating the weather for sh**s and giggles; thats fine. Fluttershy has borderline mind control; thats fine. And I'm sure Twilight burned down something at some point while she was out practicing some sh**; thats fine.
But making flowers appear
out
of
nowhere?

Everyone suddenly up and-

(Why the fuk am I even doing this anymore?)

So essentially the Trix Rabbit gets upstaged by everyone, bar, Twilight, and Trixie just slaps there sh**- I'd do it to if someone else was trying to ruin myOWAIT
But as the episode goes on, turns out Truckstop was lying about some of the better sh** she said she could do(EMPHASIS ON HER """""SELF APPOINTED TITLES""") and her sidekicks Dumb and Dumber insist on her trying to prove she can do it. And Trixie is just like-

She runs off. Probably to go kill herself. Or something. I don't really care at this point.

Oh, and Twilight is forced to save the day because she can think of something else to use THAT ISNT FUKING ROPE
I feel like someone else wrote this episode into some sh**ty bondage fic

Jay's Episode Rating:
0/10; for the overall story
4/10; because Trixie is actually decent later on
3/10; I like Snips and Snails

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2018, 05:49:18 PM »
This show is clearly racist
My_Little_Pony_Email_PMO.jpg

Offline J

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2018, 11:38:23 PM »
This show is clearly racist
Jokes aside, you actually aren't wrong.
Albeit, the races are treated moreso as a class system, as apposed to blatant racism-
Earth Horses are doomed to get the short end of the stick, save for members of the Pie family
Pegasai have far more applications for things as apposed to Earths, since they fly
Unicorns are arguably the most guilty of this, but they never point this out; Magic is seemingly limitless and those who study it are kept under Celestia's watch and/or are demigods. Other Unicorns are seemingly unaware of this, and just file it under "Oh, your just talented at magic, is all", yet all the high magic users we've seen are those who've gone well out of there way to master such a thing. Like, it's not a skill or anything, it's an inherent trait that Unicorns have, and you can bend it to your own will, albeit, with study/practice. But somehow basic levitation is what every Unicorn has by default? It's sketchy at best.

Back on topic; Rarity is the most racist on the show, since she kept referring to Iron Will as a monster, to which Fluttershy had to keep correcting her and stating that hes a Minotaur. I mean, shes had a lot of other moments like this due to her elitism taking priority with her ego, and other things like this.

I mean the show is genuinely fuked up, but its all lampshaded to hell and back.

Offline Philippa

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2018, 02:09:55 PM »
You need some stronger medication.

Offline J

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2018, 12:40:18 AM »
You need some stronger medication.
Whys that?

Offline J

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Re: Jay's sh**ty cartoon reviews
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2018, 12:37:01 AM »


Furfags from the far future frantically fight for freedom; fails fantastically; fuking finally

Hey, look at that, a show that isnt about cartoon horses.

Hot damn, Batman Beyond gives me life.
This episode in particular is some real hot sh**. Like- Cuvier honestly did nothing wrong, albeit, hes guilty of being a fuking dumbass because he has simultaneously the best and worst marketing strategy ever. Splicing, at it's core is honestly just a fashion statement/trend/etc. and Caviar himself openly explains that its reversible- The dude is willingly going to reverse any of this sh**, albeit, he knows its just more money for him. It's amusing that he states that its also harmless, but hes also fully willingly capable of making any of his patients exhibit more animalistic traits- aggression for example, which becomes a centerpoint of the episode- But what do you expect when all the thugs want to be predatory animals? The fukin girl at school just has cat eyes and there's nothing wrong with that or her at all. I'D REJECT MY HUMANITY TOO, JOJO- But realistically, it's evident that added behaviors are clearly engineered as well, and it's taken to a weird extreme where the episode puts nature against itself. By this, I mean humanity's side depicts everyone wanting to disband this, out of fear/worry/etc- you know how it is, people typically reject change- But Cavity is out to prove everyone wrong by showing that change is good- Hes on the side of evolution and implies this is the next step for humanity. But ironically, hes backed into a corner because the assholes who think they are better then everyone- the thugs on the train for example, save for Catscratch(Cuvier gave himself big claws, so yes, I can call him this)- wind up starting more problems then were initially intended, to which, turn this into a war that Cuvier winds up having to frontline himself, because he knows nobody else will willingly help him. Like, it's not his fault that some of the people he spliced wound up being a bunch of dicks; that's just human nature. And again, humanity fights against this because the "norms" heavily imply that survival is on the line, and as we all know it just boils down to survival of the fittest, and-

Fuk. I'm thinking far too into this. But who's to say? Maybe I just emphasize with people who try to be """"different""""?
Jay, you need to stop, your sounding like Tumblr

Fine, I'll go put a gun in my mouth already.

.....

Real talk, though, the fight scene at the end is fuking amazing. It goes from Batman to Akira, out of nowhere, and-

LOOK AT THIS THING
If genetic editing can create monstrosities like this, why not straight-up weaponize this sort of sh**?

....

This episode is just full of weird, cool, and otherwise thought provoking context. Shut up and go watch it.

Jay's Episode Rating:
8/10; for coolness
-2/10; because Cuvier needed better management
4/10; for the fact you can live your life as some horrible abomination, and it's fuking awsome
1/10; as a bonus point because I'm sure one of you will be all "OwO WHATS THIS?" and make me want to kill myself
(Episode gets an 11/10)

Offline J

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Re: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2018, 10:01:33 PM »


Fluttershy is a fuking beta
[who even watches these]

Why am I still doing this... ?

Oh boy another carton horse episode/"""review"""- the episode is Dragonshy
The A-Team montage is honestly the best bit of it


If you want diabetes, just watch this episode. It's one of THOSE ones where they make [X] character really adorkable for all the good reasons, and it just escalates from there.
I mean nothing really happens in this episode, other then everyone playing Oregon Trail with Fluttershy's lifeless carcass, and other methods of trying to get her up this fuking mountain; but this is season 1, and we need to play up Shy's lack of self confidence/self esteem so she can try and conquer it in the climax of the episode, while her friends try to motivate her to defeating her """fear""""- honestly it's more of a confidence issue as I just addressed.
Like, in Fluttershy's case she says shes afraid of big dragons but Spike is just fine; you could compare this to saying you dont want to be shot by a bazooka, but you would willingly let someone fire at and hit you with a handgun. This comparison doesn't really make sense.
So the D&D party goes to confront the final boss and all of them roll 1s to get utterly fuked up. Then Shy breaks character and basically flips the game board over- She uses her anger to solve the problem of the snoring dragon; lets be real here.
......
Frankly, Shy solves almost all her more serious issues with her pent up anger. She should get angry more often; seems healthy for her. Or something.
I don't know, heres Pinkie with a rubber chicken:


Jay's Episode Rating:
5/10 episode, I guess.
(Episode could be better)

Offline Meganerdbomb

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Re: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2018, 03:30:54 PM »
Boii that was one of my favorite episodes of season1
im just waiting for meganerdbomb to come along and kick things into gear.

Offline J

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Re: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2018, 10:18:27 PM »
Boii that was one of my favorite episodes of season1
It's stilll, arguably one of Fluttershy's best episodes.

Offline J

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Re: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2018, 11:55:29 PM »


Aggretsuko....


All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

If you hven't watched this series, please do so.
preferably right now.

Jay's Rating:
10/10

Offline Meganerdbomb

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Re: Jay's cartoon """opinions"""
« Reply #19 on: July 09, 2018, 06:57:53 AM »
Is this an anime?
im just waiting for meganerdbomb to come along and kick things into gear.