gametechmods

Off-Topic => Chatterbox => Topic started by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 03:10:32 PM

Title: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 03:10:32 PM
Sylandro was in his backyard playing Jarts with his pet squid named Clyde the Destroyer when something caught his eye. A hole had been dug next to the hockey rink by his garage so he went to go check it out. A mole came out at start yelling at him. The mole took out a gun and grabbed his leg and pulled him underground to a full sized city inabbited by moles. He leaned against a lamp post and fell through it to discover the entire city was made out of jellybeans and ecstasy. The mole took Sylandro to the leader mole. When they got there he was greated by Malcolm X, but he had no face. Malcolm told Sylandro that he planned to kill everyone on the surface world who didn't have a last name comprised of one level and he was going to have Sylandro be the General of the army. Sylandro didn't want this so he challenged Malcom to a rap battle. Malcom spat fire so fast that his face de-melted and came back onto his head. Sylandro knew he couldn't beat that so he just licked Malcom's neck. Malcom was creeped out so he surrendered. Sylandro took 13 bag fulls of the jellybeans and ecstasy back to the surface. He sold all the ecstasy to make a fortune through the mob which connected straight back to the Italian government since 1996. He ate all the jellybeans and died of diabetes on a hijacked airplane.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 01, 2013, 03:20:54 PM
And that was how the world was saved from... the mole people.

But in all seriousness I love these. Make moar please


Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 03:28:12 PM
Give me a badass member besides Scrap.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 01, 2013, 03:53:56 PM
Kill
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 03:56:35 PM
I'll work on it later.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 10:19:12 PM
Kill drove along the deep wooded forest durring the winter solstice. He could barely see so he used his echolocation to drive into the dense potato tree forest. He knew he had reached his destination. He approached a large sillo that was painted to look like the challenger rocket ship. Kill pushed the door open and a cold gale hit him in the face like a twinking with a halo storm in it.He ran through the door, straight into Greenland. He looked straight down and took a chainsaw out of his back pocket. he cut a whole in the ice below him. Then, he fell into the world's best night club. He made 87 dollars playing pool and darts. He went over to the bar and bought a kool aid and everclear. A beautiful fine southern broad came over and sat beside him. He looked up casualy and the bar tender through her a beer. They both pounded down the drinks and went to the back of the dance floor by a platinium couch and sat down. The woman rubbed Kill's inner thigh and start whispering dirty thoughts in his ear. Kill leaned back but as he was putting his arm back, he knocked her crotch. Something was wrong, it felt like a plastic bag filled with roast beef. The woman reached to the back of her head and pulled off a mask. The woman was actually Enigma. Enigma was hella horny and lunged at Kill. Kill was horified, mostly cause he wasted money on buying Enigma a beer. Kill took out his chainsaw and cut Enigma apart. He threw the body and the parts in the middle of the dance floor which were immediately eaten by super sexy aliens in the club. Kill decided he need to get home to his echidna farm. So, he took out a jetpack and flew all the way back to Saskatchewan to live the thug lyfe and plan out Lil Wayne's assassination with his partner Jerry Seinfeld.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Kossokei on June 01, 2013, 10:22:22 PM
ACAMS, Trov and (someone had to do it) Naryar
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 10:25:45 PM
Will do Naryar next.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Mr. AS on June 01, 2013, 10:28:30 PM
Kill took out his chainsaw and cut Enigma apart. He threw the body and the parts in the middle of the dance floor which were immediately eaten by super sexy aliens in the club.
so thats why enigma hasnt been online since february
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 01, 2013, 10:30:18 PM
Blame Kill's backpocet chainsaw.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on June 02, 2013, 03:40:04 AM
kill has echolocation **** yes
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 02, 2013, 10:53:53 AM
so

much

yes
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Sylandro on June 02, 2013, 05:28:18 PM
Sylandro was in his backyard playing Jarts with his pet squid named Clyde the Destroyer when something caught his eye. A hole had been dug next to the hockey rink by his garage so he went to go check it out. A mole came out at start yelling at him. The mole took out a gun and grabbed his leg and pulled him underground to a full sized city inabbited by moles. He leaned against a lamp post and fell through it to discover the entire city was made out of jellybeans and ecstasy. The mole took Sylandro to the leader mole. When they got there he was greated by Malcolm X, but he had no face. Malcolm told Sylandro that he planned to kill everyone on the surface world who didn't have a last name comprised of one level and he was going to have Sylandro be the General of the army. Sylandro didn't want this so he challenged Malcom to a rap battle. Malcom spat fire so fast that his face de-melted and came back onto his head. Sylandro knew he couldn't beat that so he just licked Malcom's neck. Malcom was creeped out so he surrendered. Sylandro took 13 bag fulls of the jellybeans and ecstasy back to the surface. He sold all the ecstasy to make a fortune through the mob which connected straight back to the Italian government since 1996. He ate all the jellybeans and died of diabetes on a hijacked airplane.
Well there goes my sides! I'm laughing my ass off in IRL.
EDIT: You should do Thyrus or Kid_Krusher13.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 02, 2013, 05:57:46 PM
Naryar woke up quick on a brilliant Easter Sunday. But Naryar worshiped a large plank of wood in the Caspian Sea so he didn't really care. He made some FRENCH toast croissants and sat down to eat. Just as he was about to eat, he heard something from his pink-colored foyer. The grate over the air conditioner was shaking. Suddenly, the gate exploded and hundreds of monkeys filled Naryar's house. They started tearing his house and also his antique vases apart. Unfortuanetly, he was French, so he surrendered. He ran outside, grew huge eagle wings, and flew to his top-secret head quarters located just south in Andorra. He went in a small hole in the side of a mountain and he was in The Naryar Laboratories. He greated his little ginger friend Dexter who left to go buy some towels for the torture chamber. Naryar looked down and realized that his arms were gone. So he went over to the workbench and grafted an uzi to his right arm and a shot gun to his left. He thought that his legs looked weak though. So he took a pizza cutter and slized them both off and used both guns to stitch a hoverpad where his legs were once. He then welded 834 spikes to a bullet proof vest and put it on. He then welded it to his torso so it wouldn't fall off because inconvenience was a Frenchman's third worst enemy, only to a German and saying Sacre Bleu. He thought hios eyes looked vunerable so he hooked up 2 flamethowers to his ear ducts, put a propane tank in his stomach and a chip in his brain to turn the flames on and off. He then put on an aluminum foil deflector beanie for obvious French reasons. Lastly he installed a radio into his back. He tolde Dexter to turn the heat off when he left, cause that stuffs expensive., and he flew off back to the monkey house. Once he arrived, he kicked down the door while playing Archie Eversole's Ready*. "No one ****s with Naryar." He then destroyed every last monkey and made a long pimp jacket out of the fur. He storred the meat in his personal meat locker. He then built a couple works bombs and threw them down the air conditioning vent to destroy any other monkeys. He then got hirred at a local elementary school and taught 2nd grade, still as a cyborg. Durring the summers he sold tickets to see Charlemagne's Tomb.

*http://youtu.be/ElFDlShmOng?t=1m10s
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 02, 2013, 07:10:52 PM
bahaha what

were the monkeys cheese-eating surrender monkeys?
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 02, 2013, 07:12:48 PM
No, just German.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 02, 2013, 07:36:43 PM
Aww. Did you get the reference at least? That thread might have died out before you joined...
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 02, 2013, 07:39:00 PM
Yeah I dunno what your talking about.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 02, 2013, 07:53:36 PM
Pretty sure the "5 word story" thread died when the Playground was deleted, but it was dead long before that. Part of the story was Naryar turning into a monkey or something and he was called a cheese eating surrender monkey.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 02, 2013, 07:59:11 PM
I remember that thread but never read or participated in it.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 02, 2013, 08:36:22 PM
So that's why you don't get the reference.

week 8 results are up btw if you want to check
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on June 02, 2013, 08:46:35 PM
Yeah I know 1-3. And now each of my bots got 1 win.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on June 03, 2013, 01:11:16 AM
burning gaze of justice

although the mighty naryar never surrenders. EVER.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: HurricaneAndrew on June 06, 2013, 09:18:15 AM
Just the rest of France does.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Kid_Krusher13 on June 07, 2013, 03:39:23 AM
MassimoV, if you make my story have ANYTHING about me going to Quebec, Im gonna beat your head in with a hockey stick.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: 090901 on June 07, 2013, 06:49:15 AM
MassimoV, if you make my story have ANYTHING about me going to Quebec, Im gonna beat your head in with a hockey stick.
Silly Canadians  :laughing
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Kid_Krusher13 on June 07, 2013, 02:57:41 PM
MassimoV, if you make my story have ANYTHING about me going to Quebec, Im gonna beat your head in with a hockey stick.
Silly Canadians  :laughing

I will respond with the Canadian laugh icon.  :dumb)
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Sylandro on June 07, 2013, 04:27:01 PM
Kid_Krusher13, i made one for you.

Quote
Kid_Krusher13 was watching Hockey in his very small suburban home in Winnipeg, sniffing up Cocaine and tripping balls. Until he got a strange phone call. He just ignored it, thinking it was a Asian-Indian Telemarketer living in South Africa. A few seconds later, the call came again. Kid_Krusher13 answered the phone and found out that it was a high Gropaga. Gropaga talked to Kid_Krusher13 about a cave appearing in his backyard. He walked over to his backyard, and a giant hole was forming. It already swallowed up his fences. And it was already starting to take in his house. Being a idiotic Canadian, Kid_Krusher13 did a little jig. Unfortunately, his house was starting to fall down the hole. He realized suddenly, that the hole was made out of Exotic Furs, and slime for the ramp that his house was about to go on. He was in a trance, he didn't realize that his small house was on a slide. Unfortunately, the slide was short, yet fun. Kid_Krusher13's house went through a portal, and landed on Gropaga's Summer Cottage in Quebec. Kid_Krusher13 just fainted when his house landed on Gropaga's Summer Cottage. Kid_Krusher13 is now in a fun coma because of the Slimy Slide.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Kid_Krusher13 on June 07, 2013, 04:39:25 PM
Kid_Krusher13, i made one for you.

Quote
Kid_Krusher13 was watching Hockey in his very small suburban home in Winnipeg, sniffing up Cocaine and tripping balls. Until he got a strange phone call. He just ignored it, thinking it was a Asian-Indian Telemarketer living in South Africa. A few seconds later, the call came again. Kid_Krusher13 answered the phone and found out that it was a high Gropaga. Gropaga talked to Kid_Krusher13 about a cave appearing in his backyard. He walked over to his backyard, and a giant hole was forming. It already swallowed up his fences. And it was already starting to take in his house. Being a idiotic Canadian, Kid_Krusher13 did a little jig. Unfortunately, his house was starting to fall down the hole. He realized suddenly, that the hole was made out of Exotic Furs, and slime for the ramp that his house was about to go on. He was in a trance, he didn't realize that his small house was on a slide. Unfortunately, the slide was short, yet fun. Kid_Krusher13's house went through a portal, and landed on Gropaga's Summer Cottage in Quebec. Kid_Krusher13 just fainted when his house landed on Gropaga's Summer Cottage. Kid_Krusher13 is now in a fun coma because of the Slimy Slide.
Perfect, except, QUEBEC!
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on June 07, 2013, 05:04:22 PM
Yeah MassimoV's was better
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on July 06, 2013, 09:12:20 PM
Ugh, I'm bored and I don't have RA2 with me.

Trovaner woke up one morning in his underground igloo underneath west side Detroit. He was hungry so he snapped his fingers and a tuna salad sandwich appeared in his hand. He started to eat it and thought it was even more delicious than the dirt he normally ate. But soon he started feeling weird. His stomach was burning. he then threw up an 18 foot tape worm on to the floor of his kitchen. The worm ran through his house, destroying it. The worm then stole his smokin hot wife, a tea kettle, and 23 baboons from his underground baboon farm. The tapeworm then said something in Greek and teleported away into nothing. Trovaner just had to get that tea kettle back...and his wife and baboons I guess... So he took his luxury platinum elevator complete with xbox and butler to the surface of west Detroit. He had to get out though because it ain't safe for a white guy to be in west Detroit. Luckily, he had a crowbar with him and broke into a jalopy filled with bootleg copies of action movies. He then drove to San Diego where he rented a kayak and paddled half way across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii. Once he got there, he found a very particular garbage can and jumped in. He pull up on an old sour cream and onion Pringles can and the garbage can grew wings. He then stomped on a tomato, and the garbage can thrusted off into space. He flew the garbage can all the way around to the dark side of the moon where an exact replica of Las Vegas was built. He jumped out and ran into Creaser's Palace. The tapeworm was playing a round of blackjack with a tractor, a garbage disposal, and Noodle. He shot at the worm with a laser beam but missed. The worm ran out of the casino and down the Vegas Strip. He knew where the worm was going, the real hell, Circus Circus. He got to the casino and the whole place was infested with 8 foot roaches, who were all doing slot machines and eating garbage off the floor. Trov ran through the casino to a small arcade where the tapeworm was playing Mrs. Pac-Man on a vintage game counsel. He picked up a machete lying on the ground and snuck up behind the worm, and cut it in half. The tea kettle, his wife, and 23 baboons came spewing out of it and they decided to return home. They all gathered into the garbage can, but it wouldn’t lift off. Everyone panicked, even the kettle. He then had a ghostly friend come to him in a vision only he could see. It was Naryar, who walked up to him. He only said one thing…” ****ing ballast.” Naryar then slapped Trov across the face which made Trov snap back to reality. He had to mute Naryar when they got back. At this point, Trov threw all the garbage out of the garbage can and they took a vacation to Mars before safely crash landing back in the small igloo underneath western Detroit.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Shield on July 06, 2013, 09:25:35 PM
That was beautiful.








So, who's next?
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: helloface on July 07, 2013, 01:03:35 AM
This is the best thread ever.
EDIT: Do GF93.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Domanating on July 07, 2013, 04:41:35 AM
These short stories are really stupid but done in a very smart way. Not everyone is capable of doing these. Brilliant stories, m8  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: G.K. on July 07, 2013, 06:56:12 AM
Here's 'my' effort:

"For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on July 07, 2013, 11:42:05 AM
Haha, thanks everyone. I'll probably do a GF93 story next. Glad you like them all.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: helloface on July 07, 2013, 01:38:48 PM
:D
Thank you!
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on July 10, 2013, 05:04:55 AM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: GoldenFox93 on July 14, 2013, 02:15:51 PM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on July 14, 2013, 02:41:57 PM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
you are weak and unmanly
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: 090901 on July 14, 2013, 03:45:00 PM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
you are weak and unmanly
at least he can get wimmins
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on July 19, 2013, 11:15:53 AM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
you are weak and unmanly
at least he can get wimmins
have you seen the face of his woman ?
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: GoldenFox93 on July 19, 2013, 11:59:00 AM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
you are weak and unmanly
at least he can get wimmins
have you seen the face of his woman ?
About a year ago I would've said something like "Looks don't matter it's personality that matters" or something, but...
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: HurricaneAndrew on July 19, 2013, 12:17:51 PM
it better be about pool, him talking about how much of a good looking fellow he is and then me beating the tar out of him him kicking my ass, followed by me getting fisted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex as he rides off into the sunset on the back of Cassius 2
That'd be a great plot for a movie.   :P
you are weak and unmanly
at least he can get wimmins
have you seen the face of his woman ?
About a year ago I would've said something like "Looks don't matter it's personality that matters" or something, but...

But, what? Say it, faggot.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: GoldenFox93 on July 19, 2013, 12:25:04 PM
Honestly, I don't really know if it's working out anymore.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on July 20, 2013, 12:42:20 AM
Can't handle all of the tsundere ? Eh, your choice is your freedom.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: HurricaneAndrew on July 20, 2013, 10:07:22 AM
Honestly, I don't really know if it's working out anymore.

I didn't even think you two were still together.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on January 02, 2015, 03:23:35 AM
when will op deliver?

find out next time on max make more of these
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: helloface on January 02, 2015, 03:57:32 AM
This is the best thread ever.
EDIT: Do GF93.
I'm still waiting.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Naryar on January 02, 2015, 12:39:28 PM
what was this thread about anyway, apart from goldenfox shenanigans ?
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Badnik96 on January 02, 2015, 01:14:54 PM
the best short stories of all time

learn to read
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: MassimoV on January 02, 2015, 04:53:06 PM
This is the best thread ever.
EDIT: Do GF93.
I'm still waiting.

Goldenfox was walking down to the local fedora convention. He was cosplaying as a large T-bone steak and didn't really give a sh** one way or the other why he did this. Suddenly, a large McDonald's salt m=packet felt out of the sky. Being a Coptic Christian, he didn't put it in his ass because that would be heresy. The salt packet opened up and termites spilled out onto the road causing all of GF93's organs to jump out of his mouth and dance an entertaining Swedish jig.  The termites were ruthless ate all of his skin and muscles off of him so he was now just a skeleton. You'd expect me to right some 2 spooky 4 u joke here, but that would be ****ing retarted and too easy. Once he was released of the burden of having flesh, GF93 knew what to do. He had to make a pilgrimage to Mecca. He started this journey and walked the entire length of Europe but when he go to Greece, a large silo stood in front of him.  The silos name was Jerrick. God told the small stupid skeleton, "Walk around the silo 7 times in my name and your path shall be clear." GF93 did so and the silo turned into a Volkswagen Beatle which he drove to Mecca. Mecca was wonderful. Dogs chirped like monkeys, there was a Walgreen's on every corner, Arin Hanson was the sultan, and Jimmy helped himself to another helping of yams. He reached down and took his head off and filled it with the holy sand. He then lit it on fire and put it back on his spine. Daffy Duck came up from the earth and said, "Welcome to Mecca, the cleanest waterpark in the universe! I'll be your tour guide." Daffy lead Goldenfox around Mecca, and even let him meet Oprah Winfrey who was doing body shots with a large man with purple skin and no legs. Just then, the 2 came across the one, the only, Peter Parker, who didn't give a ****. They both knew what this meant, white guy dance battle. Both sucked and had to kill themselves, but Goldenfox was already did so sh**, whatever I guess. As dusk came, the Vacuum of the Allah sweeped up the land and Mohammed himself emptied it into the Indian Ocean. Goldenfox dived down and found his master Osama Bin Laden at the bottom of the Ocean. "Come stay with me," said Osama as he turned to Goldenfox and his eyes were replaced with billiard balls. Saddam Hussein popped out of his chest and said, "إذا كنت تريد أن تكون بلدي الحبيب، كنت حصلت على الحصول على مع أصدقائي." Goldenfox joined them and he still make fondue scorpions and knits with them in the sunken S.S. Gestapo to this very day.
Title: Re: MassimoV's Short Story Thread
Post by: Shield on January 02, 2015, 05:18:04 PM
ITS BACK