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Off-Topic => Chatterbox => Topic started by: Zog on July 31, 2010, 02:42:48 AM

Title: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Zog on July 31, 2010, 02:42:48 AM
So these are basically things which you've heard other people say. Be it somewhere like a shop, or a public loo, or the underground...


I'll start off:


(My Dad after I sidled out of unwillingly being blessed by a vicar): " Phew. Glad to see that you use your brain there, son."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: G.K. on July 31, 2010, 02:48:45 AM
Picnic Attack likes to randomly say, "I need sugar!"
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: powerrave on July 31, 2010, 03:14:57 AM
well in that case... i know someone who comes with oddness all the time.

when he came back: "i nearly stopped a fire in the kitchen."
someone else: "sooo... it's still burning then?"


another time, same person but actually on TeamSpeak.
him: "i have to take a sh**, brb."
barely 1 minute later: "i'm back. oh wait i forgot something."
someone else: "yeah, to take a sh**."

this same person once in class just ate half of a plastic bottle.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Pwnator on August 01, 2010, 06:30:42 AM
Instead of laughing, I usually say 'LOL'. :P
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: SKBT on August 01, 2010, 09:08:20 AM
^^ Someone spends too much time on the internet then. :P

Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: powerrave on August 01, 2010, 12:31:04 PM
i do both...
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Sage on August 01, 2010, 01:11:04 PM
My dad pulls out a flamethrower. I was like:

"You never told me we had a flamethrower!"

My dad: "You never asked!"
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: G.K. on August 01, 2010, 01:11:45 PM
LOL nice.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: NFX on August 01, 2010, 01:16:12 PM
We were discussing Mario Kart Wii multiplayer games in Higher Computing class, and my friend said "We should get together sometime and have a three-way."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: joo suck on August 01, 2010, 01:21:24 PM
Well, last year in highschool I had a friend named Pete Bonarz. (It may have been Rob...) And all of my friends have basic names: Dan, Jeff, Jim (that's me), Joe, Mike and Mary... =P

Once I punched my friend, and he said 'That tickles, but do it again and I shove a nanner up your ass!' (And he actually said Nanner!)

Last one for now. Jeff loves to say 'Shiggity!'...  :rage
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 01, 2010, 02:49:06 PM
I once heard someone say "Fagoogitry" instead of "Faggotry".
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Resetti's Replicas on August 03, 2010, 10:43:01 PM
I assume I can post things I've said?

Jeopardy Question:  In a children's book by Leo Lionni, this type of worm is proud that he can measure anything
Me: Er.... What is a tapeworm!
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: ianh05 on August 03, 2010, 10:52:47 PM
I won't mention names but years ago some older guy i know (over 60) once said "she's developed" out loud referring to some young teen... I know it sounds wrong but we couldn't stop giggling and joked about it for ages, way to be proper aye.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: TriTon on August 03, 2010, 11:42:39 PM
When I was younger, one of my dad's friend would tell me, "If you eat too many corn dogs you're gonna become a corn dog."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Sage on August 03, 2010, 11:51:53 PM
Someone told me I would become an apple tree if I ate the whole apple. Never touched an apple core again.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 04, 2010, 12:01:04 AM
"I'mma make you my beta tester"
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: CaptainUseless on August 14, 2010, 06:43:13 AM
I heard they're making a Titanic 2.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: somestrangeguy on August 14, 2010, 07:00:34 AM
Thats right, I heard its going to be set a long time after Titanic 1 and its a new ship with the same name, something like that.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Somebody on August 15, 2010, 09:47:58 PM
Hey look CU is back!
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 15, 2010, 11:23:13 PM
One time, one of my IRL friends, Tristan, along with me, [I think] Preytor, and a couple other friends were having a heated debate about if cooties were real or not. So Tristan just shushes us and says, "In preschool we called them cooties. Now, we call them AIDS."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Larrain on August 19, 2010, 04:52:56 PM
Once in class, the teacher asked us to write a short text stating what do we fear of.
So me and a couple of classmates were making jokes about this and then another classmate (who was close to us about to fall asleep) said with a boring sleepy face "Alexander frightens me." (Yes my name is Alexander). So I tried shouting "Boo!" at his face and he stood up instantly. We all laughed.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 19, 2010, 06:59:56 PM
On Vent, while we were playing RTD, someone said "Check his groin for tiberium. I want to make a machete out of it."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: GoldenFox93 on August 19, 2010, 07:01:41 PM
(Yes my name is Alexander)
No shame in that. That's my real name, too.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 19, 2010, 07:05:29 PM
Mine is Ryder.




:D




(Do I win?)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: GoldenFox93 on August 19, 2010, 07:06:51 PM
Thought it'd be Vladmir or Sergei, to be honest  :P
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 19, 2010, 07:10:28 PM
(Yes my name is Alexander)
No shame in that. That's my real name, too.

Me too!  :bigsmile:
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 19, 2010, 07:23:42 PM
(https://gametechmods.com/uploads/images/4060heyalex.PNG)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 19, 2010, 07:24:36 PM
 :eek:
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Preytor_4 on August 19, 2010, 07:43:33 PM
LOL  :rotflmao:
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Larrain on August 20, 2010, 06:09:33 PM
(Yes my name is Alexander)
No shame in that. That's my real name, too.

Me too!  :bigsmile:
Really? Wow! I had no idea :gawe: *high-fives GF93 and Freeziez*
LOL @ Hydro.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: GoldenFox93 on August 20, 2010, 06:12:05 PM
(Yes my name is Alexander)
No shame in that. That's my real name, too.

Me too!  :bigsmile:
Really? Wow! I had no idea :gawe: *high-fives GF93 and Freeziez*
LOL @ Hydro.
Three of us on GTM with the same name...never thought I'd live to see the day!  :approve:
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 20, 2010, 06:12:24 PM
(Yes my name is Alexander)
No shame in that. That's my real name, too.

Me too!  :bigsmile:
Really? Wow! I had no idea :gawe: *high-fives GF93 and Freeziez*
LOL @ Hydro.

You deserve a burrito.

[url=http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0]
[url]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0]
[url]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0 (http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/burrito2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/food/are-you-hungry-for-a-burrito.html&usg=__IqlxlE1WkrYZYP-p1GThmyu4gWE=&h=525&w=700&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=A_q6zMarnNjiRM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dburrito%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D582%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=109&dur=270&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=135&ty=106&ei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&oei=YwtvTKnNPIP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Hydro on August 20, 2010, 06:14:10 PM
GIANT LINK OF DOOM
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Larrain on August 20, 2010, 06:14:30 PM
Three of us on GTM with the same name...never thought I'd live to see the day!  :approve:
Me either ;)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 20, 2010, 06:14:52 PM
Three of us on GTM with the same name...never thought I'd live to see the day!  :approve:
Me either ;)

Same here!  :bigsmile:
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: GoldenFox93 on August 20, 2010, 06:16:36 PM
*Eats Burrito*

Thanks. Now, who's for Snocones?
http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/snocones1.jpg (http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/snocones1.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Somebody on August 20, 2010, 06:20:04 PM
I are lefted out cuz mah name is Jonathan.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 20, 2010, 06:34:49 PM
Well, at least you're Somebody.  :laughing
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Resetti's Replicas on August 20, 2010, 07:31:32 PM
Thought it'd be Vladmir or Sergei, to be honest  :P

I too thought Hydro would have a Russian name, like say..... Alexander
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: ashman12 on August 20, 2010, 09:09:23 PM
Three of us on GTM with the same name...never thought I'd live to see the day!  :approve:
Me either ;)

Same here!  :bigsmile:


Im close my names just Alex do i win burrito too 
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: NFX on August 20, 2010, 09:48:30 PM
Yay, congratulations for everyone on the site called Alex for finding everyone else on the site called Alex.

Are there any other Nicks on the forum beside myself? =D
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: G.K. on August 21, 2010, 08:41:14 AM
No.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Zog on August 21, 2010, 09:05:20 AM
On topic, nao?
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Somebody on August 21, 2010, 09:53:22 AM
I was in a Mcdonalds and someone asked what came with a value meal.

So I said...

McN00b XD
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: freeziez on August 21, 2010, 10:31:14 AM
*Eats Burrito*

Thanks. Now, who's for Snocones?
http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/snocones1.jpg (http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/snocones1.jpg)

Me!

NOMNOMNOM
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Philippa on November 05, 2011, 10:56:04 AM
This sounds like the perfect place for my collected Malcomisms. All direct quotes from my good friend Malcom Ross.

General Malconisms

You are a lemming with steroids up your buttcrack and I am a sadistic panda that I cant control.
FALCON...                                                     ...PUNCH!
I am the Grim Reaper and I will steal your soul.
What do you mean he's sensible and mature? He wants a model plane to blow up his school shoes!
Your eyes are a beautiful shade of grey.

Register Malconisms

I may or not be here.
Hmm, who what when where??? Oh, here.
I would like to say not here but I found a flaw in that.

To a teacher Malconisms

It's pretty easy to tell when someone is texting in class cos people don't generally smile at their crotch.
"The curtains were blue." What you will say as an English teacher is it expresses his sadness and depression. On the other hand there's what the author meant - the curtains were effing blue!

There are more somewhere in the catacombs of my mind but I have forgotten them.
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: HurricaneAndrew on November 05, 2011, 02:32:56 PM
"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot." -Myself

"Relevance is irrelevant." -A former teacher of mine
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: powerrave on November 05, 2011, 02:35:38 PM
Friend of mine once: "If I spread my arms out far enough, they are wings. But it costs a lot of effort so I'm not going to do that."
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: TeamXtreemer on November 05, 2011, 02:38:11 PM
'If you shove enough marbles up your a**e you become a wizard, fill me up'
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Badnik96 on November 05, 2011, 03:49:23 PM
"use your balls!" (someone in gym said this during a game)

"CACTUS ORGASM" (Wafflez said this when we were in a desert in Minecraft and there were so many friggin cactuses"

"Irrelephant" (what someone would say instead of "irrelevant")

"interdimensional..... Crap." (we were doing some stupid stuff and he forgot what he was gonna say. then I said "INTERDIMENSIONAL CRAP" and we cracked up.)
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Squirrel_Monkey on November 05, 2011, 04:08:53 PM
Picnic Attack: "Don't worry, we can do it without the Mexicans!"
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Philippa on November 05, 2011, 04:43:39 PM
'If you shove enough marbles up your a**e you become a wizard, fill me up'
I found goblin porn!
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: SKBT on November 07, 2011, 09:54:18 PM
Location: bathroom at my school

Person in bathroom: AWWW sh**!!!

Me: Yes, that's normally what you do in a bathroom...
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Chaosmancer on November 09, 2011, 04:49:18 PM
Quote from: Me
I can give or take
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Philippa on November 26, 2011, 11:03:58 AM
Quote from: Kieran
You are Satan's Unicorn Minion!
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Chaosmancer on December 16, 2011, 03:04:43 AM
Me: You know how I find it quite fun to turn things that end in -ism into religions
Mum: Yeah
Me: Well, it gives a whole new meaning to sexism, and it reverses the meaning of racism. And the person who is a part of racism and sexism is a rather lucky person
Mum: The person who is a part of both probably has several very nasty venereal diseases.
Me: Gotta catch 'em all!
Title: Re: Funny things which you've heard other people say (IRL)
Post by: Doomkiller on December 16, 2011, 03:54:58 AM
*maths teacher explaing ratios*
So, whatever you have, *friends name* will always be bigger.
*pause*
me and friend: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA